One Melody

This, shall be my last emo post (hope so ^^'')

As the other post have stated. Apparently My mail did not receive a reply. But I've also take it that its over, its kinda long, since i do reliased about it, since mid last year. But I've kinda felt that... Maybe its just me abstaine myself from doing any more foolish things about myself.

有时觉得我本身是在自作多情，也有时觉得自己付不出那么都得时间。

后来的结果永远都觉得只能以这种下场来收拾，更觉得自己有时就是这么得容易被一时冲动的感情给这么的蒙住了自己的方向感，不管多么的提醒自己，不管多么的自我反省。到头来还是被一个“情”字给乱了阵脚，把本来已测定好的如意算盘，亲自粉碎。

但是，也是从这些失败的经验中，学得到。有些事，硬来勉强是没结果的。宁可事后才发现然后后悔，我宁愿一开始就以失败开始。至少没有拖累其他人，有时太麻烦周围的朋友了。每一次心情不好时得向你们倾诉，想起来真有点不好意思。

这首歌，将会是把我部分的感情歌唱出来的一首歌曲。希望听这首歌的人，能喜欢它。
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One Melody
歌手：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki
作詞：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki
作曲：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki

If it's true love, it's better to set the person you love free
And if he returns despite that, its fate
If he doesn't, its fate too

One single word that's trival to you
Shatter my ideals and dreams into pieces
As sorrow changes into hollowness,
And hollowness into pretended strength
It becomes "goodbye"

There is just one melody
If all the sounds in the world were to disappear
And only one song were to remain
That'll be just one melody
And it's probably the tone of me throwing away my pride
To say "I'm sorry" to you

Alone, I tried visiting the seashore
Where we used to walk together
Letting my memories flow into the murky sea
But the crashing waves brought them back

I can't get used to being alone
Although I can't stop thinking about what you'd be doing now
I can't even give you a call
If only I can just fall in love with someone else
But my heart won't move

There is just one melody
If there's a rhythmn that can't be drowned
Even by the loudest crowd of laughters
That'll be just one melody
And it's probably the tone of you calling my name
From the deepest depth of my memory

If only I can just fall in love with someone else
But my heart won't move

There is just one melody
If all the sounds in the world were to disappear
And only one song were to remain
Just one melody
If there's a rhythmn that can't be drowned
Even by the loudest crowd of laughters
Just one melody
A song of eternity that'll remain through the ages
And that's the tone of "I love you"
Sung by the high flying birds
When they return once again

If it's true love, it's better to set the person you love free

/==================================================================/
Credits : Chrono_Cross

Reality...

I've saw it, as i do suspect. As the song title is and how it always turn out to be... Things will never work the way it will. But atlease I know that, she is not tied down by me, she is living her life happy over the border...

Another Planet. As its title sounds, even thought i had trouble finding this song's lyrics. It does not seem hard to understand this song. Even if i might be wrong in impretating the meaning of it due to my affection to her. But this is the song which reminds me of the most obvious truth that we both, cant be possible together that easily... Its distance apart is long. Socially and mentally our distance between us is great. And emotionally the distance is the longest...

I might have being pesimatic about this relationship after all, since there is never an answer given to me, i cling on to it, hoping that it would change for the better. But after all its hopes of turning for the better is low. And now that the answer is seen. I can only accept it and take it as it is.

Feels like yesterday was when we first met. When I confessed to her, and now today I saw, the fact that after all, my chances were slim. Lets just hope that i can now focus more on my stuff. With a lesser distraction aside.

Dreams.... 夢 .... 梦.....

Its time to add more stuff here....

I had a dream, of where I will be soon leaving the school, on board the Society express. Ill be soon moving on with life, and i'm at a loss of what i can do... I cant tell how i can move on.... But today, I seem to have a view light on what is going on, and what i can do....

When i was having a chat, over with a few of my close friends. I understand what i have, the something special God give to everyone on their birth. (I may be a free thinker, but thats what allows me to choose what to belive in) Which was my friends, I may not be blessed with any special talents. But surely, I have a group of friends, which i know. That even when we moved out into the society, we will still stick together, as buddies who poke fun of each other. Calling names and also disturbing one another. Not for the sake of satisfying our ownself, but because we all know each other well enough to know, how we all can feel happy and enjoy each other's presence.

And that was when i listen of several OST's on my Trusty Zen, that i am able to belive in myself.
That i can do what i wanted to do, I have Dreams I wanted to Fullfill, I have Aims I want to Achieve. And Now i Know That I can Do it.

我要放得下我的尊严，放下我倔强的态度，抛弃我以前所有不对的看法。
我要每一天在生活上，看开一点，放开一点。不被一时冲动的感情蒙住了眼睛。
我要每一天，慢慢的向我的理想踏进一步。
我，能做到。
我，会做到。
我，将是个会在社会上打出一片天下的人！

New Year, Whats new?

So, What have you done for new year?

I went for a count down dinner, with a group of friends, strolled around the city area, Squeezed throught a Horde of People to get to see and video the fire works.

And walked a big round being led by the crowd, and end of at places where i did not plan to go at all, rested and ate supper, walked back to grab a Night Rider back.

When on my way back, i've reliased a few things which i felt, shld be thrown out to set things right.

What is the things driving everyone?
Ive spoken to nic, about the heights everyone feels for the new year.
It begins from an anticipation, to a hype, moved on to the climax, post climax, and the anti climax which is Ended with a Void.

The anticipation, is where the emotional energy is stored, and keep on piling it over and over again. When it hits the Hype level, it causes the person to feel excited, way more than the Anticipation level, partially due to the closing of the event. The Climax, where the energy is released, and bursts out. When it reaches the Post climax, partial of the energy is still there and then when it hits the anti climax, a negative feeling arouses. due to the slowly release of the energy and the depletion will led to a void, where people will end up just wanting something simple, like going home to sleep or some where to rest.

When i look at it, althought it feels inhumane to put human emotion to this kind of energy level theory, but its true in a sense for me as there is a behaviour pattern for all human when they are facing different stimulant. Its different for people to people but it is the true standard, when traced down to the roots, the expression is the same throught out.

And when i felt it this way. I kinda feel the reason why in the end, in a relationship. It will end if the relationship starts, and continues the same way.

The reason why people and people can be together as friends or family and lovers, are throught constant touching of another's life and heart. A saying goes like this "Never give me you heart, its not what i want. Never will i give you my heart, as it will not be of your liking. Together we shall, share our hearts. For that is what we worked for"

It is why now a days people are more attached sometimes, by the factors displayed by another party, while love blinds them of their short coming, or being rushed to make a judgement before finally reliasing and stamping a classification on the person. They do not try to discover whats under, they merely go for whats on the surface.

And also the understanding of another. People do not try to understand others but wants others to Understand them all the time, and take care of himself/herself and knows what himself/herself is thinking all the time. This fuel to the rapid Marriage and Divorce, Aka Shotgun Marriage in this society. Reasons for Divorce ranging from "Not suitable for each other afterall" to something as simple as "He/she was not who he/she is before marriage".

Sad to say that althought this is the new year, its something i starting to see from people. Maybe i should have some happy thoughts instead, but nevermind. Im tired and i want to sleep. Maybe after a good rest i am going to have a better view of the world. From a new world view, and another perspective.