In Memories of

Just got home and showered, while on the way home on the transport after Abu dropped, i had a feeling of wanting to blog about stuff. Well its time to clean up cobwebs around here i guess.

Work has kept me busy, but defitnitely kept me enjoying with what i am doing now. After being working for the past week all the way till today, continuing after this week is at ODEX with Bjorn and Xak, well i guess im going on a crazy cash run now.

I've to say that Working at S/C was fun, even thought at the start its still cold glance and commands all over for me, as things and times follows, and as i start to interact and show efford and commitment in my prospect of my job, i soon got to know my collegues better and ofcourse enjoy working as well.

Its just like getting adapting in a new enviroment, u start out cold, and slowly better. While if u start off the other way round normally u will just kept a low profile not for long. I guess thats the way of how things work. (For me atlease)

Which also reminded me of how i was talking to Abu on the transport home just now. Its being long since i had a trash out session with friends about life, the last one prob was 20 weeks ago on a thursday night at a busstop? LOL thats very long ago.

Plus the issue that happened to me was high, slowly going cold and now quiet down. I guess its not that i have gaved up on bringing over stuff from the past, but rather i feel and decided that i'm slowly going maturing over this days of continuos interaction with people around me.

When working i think alot, as my body starts to take on automatic-motion or aka Schema, my brain is left to be free and able to think while my body can continue working like normal. I think of alot of stuff, which allows me to slowly reliase and do stuff out.

Not to mention the meeting out with the group of people i knew from the cheeze-knight channel. Namly i would like to thank this few people who have being easing me off the tension which i have being receving all the time. Bjorn, Xak, Umehiko, Zelfi, Jinyamato, Eugenics, Timecal. They have being going out all the time and while being with them i can pratically forget about most worries.

Its not like i am running away, i am just unwinding myself after bein g tensed up at work and all those sort. I give my appoligies to KK for delaying stuff and espically now that things are seeming tight on schedule. I will give in my all. I just hope i can get if from some other people whom i do not want to name too.

Well to end this off i'll just introduce a song by Makino Yui, 'Amurita', its a very smoothing song and contains abit of emoish (YES I LURVE EMO SONGS ZOMG), but belive me its nice.

Have Not Forgetten About you - Final Arc

Fuck whateva thats eating up my time, I need some Break and This study week is Stupid. I still haven shake off the Holiday Mood since Chrismas so FUCK School again for making stupid changes. Looping: Remember Me - LESLIE PARRISH (INITIAL D Best Collection)

C's Mum delivered the Invition personally to L, the location is at a resturant where they used to got for morning tea during weekdays.

"After the Accident, she seems to form a barrier between herself and us the parents. Maybe she wants to leave the family faster to start a new life." She told L.

Even thought he had decided to forget about the issue, but when facing the truth, he still cant hide the eyes which belong to someone whom has lost his love one.

"I hope you understand, we have tried our best."

He took the non-fancy print invition, remembering how he used to asked a friend to design the draft of the Invition, which is at the bottom of the box he have packed.

"Get a hold of yourself, theres still more girls out there. J is a nice girl, i can see that she has special interest on you."

"For the time being---I do not want to talk about relationship." L retorted.

"The invition is just a friendly note, if you do not turn up we can understand that."

Inside the Blood Red invition, a card for pastries is affixed.
No man on Earth will have the appitite to eat the gift of his EX.

"Congratulate them on my behalf."

This is all against his own feelings.

J worries that even after informed of the wedding, L does not have much reactions.

His personality is not those which understands at the first point. As his friend, she can only observe from the side. Its a futile efford to talk him out.

During the weekend evening, J was visiting L as usual, doing his chores, ironing his shirts. But at the Lobby she saw him driving the same type of car as the accident out of the car park in an alarming speed.

J rushed the Taxi Driver to tail that car.

"Please Drive faster, we are losing out!" She kept repeating this to the slow driver.
"Why Did you stop?"
"Its a Red light! Your friend just got himself 3 points deduction for doing that."
It was a pain to wait till the lights turn green, J reconigse the road. Its the same road which the tragedy occured.

What is L thinking?

The location occured at a down slope not far from where she is.

"Miss, your friend has went missing."
"Just drive Straight"
After a minute and a half, loud crashing sounds emitted from the front.
The Driver sub conciously step on the break, the taxi stopped in the middle of the road.

"Don't Stop please, Help!" J almost cried out.

Alas, not far forward, on the same slope, a similar car wreckage was discovered.

J found L whose head was covered in blood, turning towards her saying "I wanted to forget everything as well."

J hugged him close, waiting for the arrivial of the ambulance.

On the morning of C's wedding, in the changing room she found her mother carrying an expression which does not match the term 'happy'.

"Can't bear me leaving already?"
"This issn't the wedding i am looking towards."
"Z is a nice person."
"I know. If only i have two daughters."
C felt that everyone is not giving Z a chance, it is this biasness which increased her love for him.

At the end of the red carpet was a group of off duty police officers, they were here to view the wedding.

Z noticed that C was spacing out, he assured her "Don't you worry, if his here to make trouble, neither will my collegues hold back in giving him one."

C thought L will not be attending, even J was no where to be found.

As the speach was just starting, L walked in big steps, making his appearence.

Z gived a sign, 4 man immidiatly walked towards L, trying to push him outside.

"I have some words for the Bride." L said in a loud voice, breaking the flow of the wedding.

"Do i have to stop?"
C turns towards L in a blood rushed cheek "Yes, what do you want to say?"

"Congratulation, I hope you will forever and ever NOT remember any trace of memories of our relationship."

L left after dropping the talk, leaving behind a pauce of silence.

Its the other party who had lost the memories, L have to accept that no matter what.

Time make him accept it. No matter how stubbon or strong a person is, Time will destory you, if it cant defeat your stubboness, it will kill you.

L used four years plus to washed it off and resume back to normal life.

His living room is still orange, bed room is still dark blue. He has gotten used to it.

On that night, while his reading a catalog for certain new products, the phone at the corner of the table gives off a ear piecing ring.

"Hello"

On the other side of the phone was breath of air taken in large quantity.

"Who is this?"

"I.... I just remembered, remembered everything."
"just now... with the kids.... on the taxi----taxi was being bang by the car in the rear, bang the car did-----i remembered everything."

After those muttering, L heard C crying.

L does not know what to do, J whose lying beside him asked "Who phoned so late?"

L wished he was just dreaming about everything.



=====================================================================================
The End


Ok, this marks the end of my story translation.
For those out there reading, enjoy this last piece.

I rather say, that this story tells apart of how humans are. They forget people's presents easily, just as throwing a piece of paper away.

I personally felt that this is infact of how our society works now. You meet aquitance everyday, you forget them all the time until you need them, just as C did.
It also shows that emotion is stored with memories, thus when memories are invoked we will feel the same emotion as what we feel then.

But unless you have closed yourself, then i belive that you will not feel anything at all.

Have Not Forgetten About You - Part 3

ok, im back in part 3. Fuck test and exams for making me busy.

"Don't push her too much. The harder you cling to her, the more she detest you." As someone of the same gender, J understoods every aspects of a woman.

"I can't focus during work, not even hitting my quota for this month. But I just cannot relax on any issues with her."

L grab J's hand and pled her. "You're her best friend, please talk to her about it."

J bear with the pain which L admistrated without any complains.

"C has lost the love for you, she have also forgetten our friendship. To us both we cannot recover our relationships with her."

Upon leaving the Cafe, J predicted that L would send her home, as their apartments are just 1 train station apart.

But L stops upon reaching the Train station.

"I am going to see C finish work"
"See?" J felt wierd about him using "See" instead of "Pick up".
"I'm afrid of borthering her, so every night i have being observing her finishing work, take a cab to tail the bus she is taking, ensuring that she returns safe."
"How long have you being carrying this out?"
"Around half a month."
J has got nothing to say to him.

But tonight, C spotted L.

In a rush, L went over and hugged C. He miss holding her in his hands.

C screamed loud outside the mall.

A policeman whom just finish work walk pass, he ordered L to stop but to no avill, he judo throw L towards the ground.

"She is my Fiancee!" L screamed while facing down.

The man asked C "Are you alright?"

C hide behind the man. "I don't want to be disturbed by that man, would you please accompany me back?"

It took not long before the 6 feet tall policeman to answer "Ok, i'll walk you out of this area."
"Don't let me see you following us." He shouted towards L who is still in contact with mother Earth.

C received a feeling of protection from the accompany of the policeman.

Both of them walked for around 10 minutes without any conversation.

"Why---- did you not ask for the reason that man is bugging me?" C asked the 26 year old but still have some baby fats on his cheeks.

"I----" he appreantly looked nervous, "Not used to talk with females alone." Even his facial expression looked stoned.

"I'm C." Compared to L who has being stranggline her with his behaviour, this big but shy man looks more cute in person.

"My name is Z." A very normal name.

From that night onwards L took a further spot to conduct his Survillance.

L saw with his eyes that the 2 of them are getting closer, 2 weeks later on 1 of the nights, C voluterlly holded his hands.

He cannot tolerate with it any more, bearing the chances to kiss the floor again, he heads forward in an attempt to put a stop in their progress.

On the second night the couple leave hand in hand, L stand at the entrance of the mall.

Z came late, C arrived first, after taking a step back, she walk forward to welcome L.

"Sorry, I have a new start."

L was put out of words, he did not expect her to be straight forward about this.

"You gived up everything from the past?"
"Why not you put yourself in my shoes? Until the day i die, if i cannot find back myself but give up on the feelings i have for now. What should i do?"
L bursted. "If we work harder together, i belive that we both can start over again! Why are you refusing of giving me this chance!"
C remained Silence.

Out of coincidence, another of the same model of the car which caused the accident parked infront of them.

L walked forward and pointed at the car."It is this car, remember? You SHOULD REMEMBER!"

The driver stepped out, it was none other than Z.

The answer C replied is "I cannot remember, i can only remember he is my current boyfriend."
"How far?"
Z blushed, and looks at C.
"I have..." She shooked her head, and looked at Z "had reached the stage of making love."
L roared and charge towards Z, using the same throw, L is now in the same position as few nights ago.

He started crying, a big man crying like a small kid who dropped his candy.

Z was in a mess of what to do, C cruely asked Z to go off with her.

Z asked in a low voice "But i haven..."
C interuppted "Are you free tonight?"

L weeped for quite sometime before putting his focus on the crowd around him.

A petrol walked towards him, in a tone mixed of interrograting and comforting him asked
"Are you in some kind of problem? May i take a look at your IC?"

L pulled out his IC from his wallet in the same position.

"Get up, its not nice to lie on the floor i guess."

"Let me just stay like this abit longer."

When someone whose heart has die off, it incurrs several side effects. One of that is to totally ignore anything around him, including his work.

In the end, the result is losing his love and his occupation.

Facing the 2 setbacks, L hides at home everyday, forcing himself to think about what happened before the accident, wishing that he could be back at the time frame of those memories.

Finally feeling better, due to too much thinking, hallucination progresses and the line seperating virtual and reality slowly weakens.

J took a week's worth of leave to accompany him.
"You said that the leave was reserved to go hawaii for vacation. Why are you wasting it now?"

J answered in a twist. "I use to envy the 2 of you."

"How long have you being out of relationship?"

"About 3 to 4 years. Soon you will reliase that being single is not bad after all."

L nodded"I should have treated her as if she is already dead."

If its him who lost the memories, he will also not fall in love with the same person.

He was right in the past, but reality crushed his faith.

"I start to reject the thoughts of past life."
L finally spaced out his stomach for the porrige J cooked.

"Why?"
"If everything is predestinied in the past life, then why there is not a single bit of love after losing the memories?"
"Maybe." J gived it a second of thought before answering "It is predistinied that both of you do not have fate."

L started to look for a new job after staying at home for a few months. He packed all of C's belongings in a box and sealed it.

Before he finds a new job, News of the other party getting married came bombarding.

ok im a bastard, but the next part will be the last chapter of the story. for now try to use ur imagination to see what might become of them. =p

Side Track - Miracles

Ok, im side tracking this instead of continuing the story is because of something i felt like talking about. Eps 17 of Kanon, this show has once again striked me hard on the head.

To start off first, ill rather say that recently, i've lost all motivation to work, maybe due to "Yet another Getting Older + More Responsibility" strike inside of me. I've started to stop talking much, even at work. Not to mention i felt i did quite a lot of stupid stuff during the function at work. I try hard not to think, but it seems to haunt me causing me not feeling the kick to even go to work this sat and sun at all. But i'll still go due to the $$ run i need to get for my future plan. Plus this sat im meeting the "Cheeze Order" for dinner, im looking forward to see how far i can make more friends from this new social circle which i have just entered.

So what about this Eposide which strikes me? Its almost the same for "Kuroi Namida" From Anna Tsuchiya. Its a Love and Sad stricken feeling...

Its all about Shiori, who in the last eposide's end we know that she will not live till her Birthday this year which is just around the corner on the Sunday. 1 week directly from where it left off.
The most impact thing is that Shiori does not know yet, despite knowing that she have a Diseases which cannot be cured, she strongly lived on.









I mean, see how strong she is! She is not afrid of facing death, she just wants to live her life happly till then. But luck is not on her side as her sister Kaori is avoiding her ever since beliving that it will 'lessen' her pain if she can just ignore her presence until she dies off. But i would rather say that it will kill her more when she reliase that she can no longer contact her sister as per Mai's Arc Sayuri's Side Story about her and her younger brother. The regreat will kill her more than anyone for not able to fullfill any wishes of Shiori. All she wanted is just to hang around with Kaori, have lunches with her and play. But it ends up having her saying this to Yuuichi.





It feels warm about this. That atlease someone is able to fullfill her last wishes.
But the most striking part is here.





Her answer to this is.....







And to be able to give off such a smile after this.... It just makes me feel more like tearing... Why cant much more teenagers this day treasure more of their life in a better way? I know this is make up but what is the reason for there to make up a story with this kind of elements? Its to make more people reliase that theres more to life than what you can see it is now! In our life we are given infinity options. Even the option to die is given to us but we should not take it untill we have really step to the ending path of it!



All she wants is just someone to praise her...



All she wants is just that her sister's death will not cause her sorrow.


(Side Track)


MOE~~~