Just in Luck

Feelings...

2009-07-26T20:35:00.000+08:00

I miss her badly....

Everything changes, The reason to it is What

2009-03-22T00:22:00.001+08:00

//==================================================================//
Title : Trust You
Artist : Yuna Ito
//==================================================================//

Flowers sway in the wind as if dancing
So that the rain moistens the earth
Even though this world is alive, coming closer together
Why do people hurt each other?
Why do partings come about?

Even if you go far away
You're still always right in the middle of my heart
While they remain completely buried by that kind smile
Even if I feel pain
In fragments of you that I held, because we're still connected
I believe that we can meet again
I'm waiting for your love

I love you, I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you, I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
Because we're together, we're able to believe in each other
Please don't leave anymore

Who saw the end of the world?
Who announces the end of the journey?
Even though it's a long night and the answer can't be seen now,
I want you to move on on the road you believe in
Because from this point forth, the light is waiting for you

Even now, the song you taught me
Still remains within my heart
And echos along with that friendly voice
The overflowing tears of my feeling
Run over my warm cheek
Become strong, ne
Believe!
If we connect with each other
I'm always by your side

I love you
I trust you
The tears I shed are for your sake
I love you
I trust you
You taught me love
I love you
I trust you
No matter if you walk on the wrong path,
I'll be beside you!

I love you
I trust you
I want you to share your loneliness with me
I love you
I trust you
Even in light, even in darkness
I love you
I trust you
Even in sadness, even in happiness
I love you
I trust you
I want to protect you completely

No matter if you're walking on the wrong path
I'll be beside you!
Because we're together, we're able to believe in each other
Please don't leave anymore

credit

//=================================================================//

As I mentioned, while you might be doing something, the world around you changes.

Buildings constructed, Environment switches, Minds behave differently.

We do not notice it, even if we do, sometimes people just ignore it. Somehow, time is associated with it, no matter how much we say we dont change or we do not want to, we somehow still does.

I remember reading the Auto-bibliography by the Man who created Creative, he said before in one of the chapter that Humans change, rather, we Reborn every year as up to 70% of our cells is replaced every year, thus even in terms of biology, we cannot resist nature of changing us.

Time goes on, and thus we experience that, in the Army, I'm faced with the change not just in my body constitute, but also how I'm affected mentally on what happens around me, What I'm facing through. While I'm in there, Things still go on, the World still goes on, Earth continues its journey around our Dear Sun spinning on it's axis.

Like what the Citybank's Commercial said, The world Never Sleeps, Your dreams never sleeps.

Name of the Flower / The focus of Life

2009-01-09T18:55:00.002+08:00

//==================================================================//
Title : Name of the Flower
Band : Bump of Chicken
//==================================================================//

It's such an easy thing, so why is it that you won't tell me?
You won't tell me, why don't you just explain it?

Though you've forgotten when we stared at the sky together, don't forget when we were together

If you were a flower, among the many around
I would find you every time
Because of that I choose you
Only for me, sing that song
And to only you will I listen for that song

My existence here is your existence's proof
Because I sing that song here, it is proof that you sang

Because I borrowed your power to live, I must make you come back to life

Only, you've forgotten my tears and my smiling face
So please remember
You were perplexed in that same pain
I'll sing for only you that song
Listen for that song from only me

Of everyone, there is someone I want to meet, Of everyone, I'm waiting for that one person.
If the person I want to meet exists, I'll wait for that person
Forever

If you were a flower, among the many around
I would find you every time
Because of that I choose you
For only me, for only you

One day you forgot the tears and smiling faces
So please remember
Once you choose in confusion
Only for you I will sing that song
So listen for only my singing
Wait only for me
Because you are that person who I need to meet. (Woah Yeah)

Credits : Mouaijn
//=================================================================//

NS Life, am getting used to it. The fatigue from the Training can be cured by sleeping, but sometimes the fatigue from the mental stress seems to linger. Its always the same things we have to go through.

Yet sometimes the feeling of not being there feels so surreal. Weird it may seems but still reality sometimes feel so distant, like something which is so out of reach.

What do I want to do? What do I want to become? I'm not quite sure but I do hope I get the answer as I slowly go on.

1912 SIGN OUT
REC MELVIN REFLECTION DONE

Kylee - Vacancy / Change? More than Change

2009-01-01T01:26:00.002+08:00

/=================================================================/
Title : Vacancy
Singer : Kylee
/=================================================================/

No one wants to wake up to an empty home
No one ever wants to be alone
It's not so easy to let them go
The ones that you love

Now that you're gone, who will make me smile?
Who will pick me up when I fall down?
Who will be there to tell me right from wrong?
I regret letting you go

I have this vacancy in my heart
There's just something that's always tearing me apart
I don't know why I ever let you go
Now, there is no one to bear with me

Everyday I wake up thinking it'll be okay
'Cause you promised me that, you'd come back some day
My heart is throbbing but I will wait
And I'll try... to stay strong

And I will always miss you
But I can't take it anymore
What if your that on they said
that passed away, oh no

I have this vacancy in my heart
There's just something that's always tearing me apart
I don't know why I ever let you go
Now, there's no one to bear with me

And I miss you and love you and I will hold on
And I know there's a chance that you will come back, oh ooh
And I dream of the day that you'd come back home
And I hope that you know

I have this vacancy in my heart
There's just something that's always tearing me apart
I don't know why I ever let you go
Now, there's no one to bear with me

I have this vacancy in my heart
There's just something that's always tearing me apart
I don't know why I ever let you go
Now, there's no one to bear with me

Bear with me

/==================================================================/

Went out wif friends for another outing, yet again, even thought its new years eve, it just felt totally different from how I felt in those years which I did the organising for outing for major events.

Its not about being tired, rather its about being feeling different. Now after enlisting I felt that the way I view things have became different from how it is before. Use to feel that celebrating with friends is important, now I felt rather to stay at home, or somewhere I wont be disturbed.

Being in army does change alot of things I use to do and view, from the basics of what I should eat and what I should say, to how I should approach people, to stay quiet more often then talking like no end, to how 1 should stand.

Some how......... Its boring. Its really boring. But I can only let it be.

0140 Lights out
REC Melvin Reflection Done

Life / Uverworld - Hakanaku mo towa no kanashi

2008-12-25T22:11:00.002+08:00

//=================================================================//
Title : Hakanaku mo towa no kanashi (Fleeting and everlasting sorrow)
Band : Uverworld
//=================================================================//

Just about everything is so, right?
In situations where you get bad penalties, there's always the reality of covering them up and faking them
In the era of distorted dilemmas
Even we, who should have made a promise together, pass by each other without noticing

The city that won't change even if it's gone
Won't seek our salvation, right?
In the guise of someone honest
Everyone is inside of a crumbly crystal

Because I make more and more lies

Love only hurts me always...or so you whispered
You were scared of believing and cried, didn't you?
Learn your weaknesses and become strong, by believing without fear
You'll learn of true love, before it turns into hatred, right?

What I wanted
Isn't this heartless and contrived world
On the unviewable days without fragments of reason
Lonleyness dwelt in my eyes that are tired of seeing

Lies that heal the heart- They exist
But it's a lie that will steal my heart, right?

Even if I'm to draw closer to love, I'll only be bitten...or so I whispered
I stopped believing and lived like that
With thoughts that I'm amazed of even if I stand up against despair
It's fine if I'm clinging onto a brief life

What I wanted
Isn't this heartless and contrived thing

A love lost in this city-
If I search for its meaning
I'll become a little better and be able to move on, right?

//=================================================================//

Yesterday was book out day, although its xmas eve, but everything felt so different. Seems like what friends told me is right, army does fucks people up the brain. Everything feels so different. I even need to take awhile to get use to the keyboard again, plus xmas eve does not feel like xmas eve, I just want to close my eyes.

I just want to close my eyes away from the fatigue, both mental and physical, away from training, away from those irritating area cleaning, away from all the stress from the mortal world. I just want to wake up to a world where noise does not exist. But that remains a dream.

All I wanted was to feel like whatever I am doing is right, is something worth it, is something which people will not feel irritated. But its not easy to get things straight and right that easily. Still things have to go on.

Went out wif the buds today, its being long since I can feel quite normal about going out, but still whenever I check the time on my watch, it feels like as if I'm watching for the time I'm suppose to finish my meal/fall in for lessons/pt's. It feels super tiring when your brain keeps revolving the schedule given, and that failing to meet the timing means punishment. No more of the slacking overtime crap before leaving home, now is once time is up just go.

More time is being eaten up to finish up admin issues, even at home, getting my stuff ready, reading out important stuff. When out in my uniform I must watch for my behaviour, my dressing or else I'll get charged. Not following orders given out by commanders means defying of general orders equates to Detention Barracks. Even when you give in your best you get fucked for the smallest of issues, or worse when its not even related.

People belive that others should give in, help them and all they need is just to ask and expect you to give them the best in everything but never want to return back the favor. They just want to get you to do their stuff, even while your fucking busy and seems unable to complete your own job.

Army life, so much for the crap reasons, is merely a situation where logic does not meet orders, where the end seems so far, but the requirment still insists that you get there, where nothing seems impossible but against the rules of conduct which is so ridiculous, where they feel like fucking you you just have to "lan lan suck thumb".

Dumb fucked logic, Stupid selfish people, fucked up attitude, demanding people. All this equates to the situation I'm in now, harsh it may seem, but I'm still looking forward to a better day as I go through my usual way of getting on with the days.

Wake up, look forward to breakfast, look forward to lunch, look forward to dinner, look forward to RO, look forward to admin hour. Thats how I've being able to keep myself sane this few days in Tekong, even thought in between those hours I've being fucked, di siaoed, irritated, pissed off and also Sianzored. Thats how army life is in BMT.

May the book in be safe and sound.

2230 Nights out

REC Melvin Reflection Done

Hanabi : Code Blue/Memories Unfold

2008-12-09T01:47:00.007+08:00

I was looking thru my pictures folder digging a pic my friend requested from me when I happen to hit upon several picture I use to take using my HP's Camera when people lease reliase it. Those pictures, now looks so Nostalgic, where we were once a Student....

But now it felt so distant. We are no longer students, I am facing my enlistment in 4 days time, And many others are serving theirs as of now. Which this song, Hanabi by Mr Children seems to push into me, about how the path of life starts to cross again.

/=======================================================/\
Title : Hanabi
By : Mr Children
Credits for Lyrics : A-Lyrics
/=======================================================/\
What value left is there
in this world I live in?
I start thinking its all meaningless
or maybe I’m just tired?

In exchange for something I got
I gave up a number of precious things
but it’s not such a peaceful world
that I can lament each and every one.

What kind of dreams should I envision?
What kind of hopes should I take with me as I go forward?
These seemingly impossible to answer questions
Get buried in my day to day life.

If you were here I wonder what you would say?
you’d probably say I was being “gloomy” and have a laugh.
I just wish i could see your gentle smile to blow away my melancholy.

even if it’s a light like fireworks
that can never be caught
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to reach out for it.

We all carry sadness with us
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?

I get choked up on the words ’cause I think too much
I hate how clumsy I am
Yet oddly enough, I hate more how skillfully I can pretend.

Whether we spend the years laughing or crying
time passes the same for all
the future is calling to us
are you, now, hearing it too?

Even though we knew from the start
that we’d eventually have to say goodbye
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
and as many times as I can I hope to see you again.

I never imagined that simply meeting you
could make the world seem so beautiful
would you laugh at me for being simple minded?
I want to say “thank you” to you from my heart.

I wish my heart flowed fast and smooth like water
so that it would not settle in one place.

For all those times when I need to see you
for those times when I’ll miss you so
one more time, one more time, one more time, one more time
I want to burn your memory deep in me.

We all have our problems
but we hope for a better tomorrow
I wonder to what extent we can love a world
gripped by fear, thrown into unrest?

one more time, one more time,
one more time, one more time…

/=========================================================/

And so, good bye my Civilian Life, Good bye to my casual Life, Good bye to those friends whom have being by my side for anything I need. Lets meet up sometimes and 'Lim Teh'. =)

Glass no Blue - Bump of Chicken

2008-11-23T15:07:00.002+08:00

/========================================================/
Glass Blues (ガラスのブルース)
song and lyrics written by Motoo Fujiwara (藤原基央)
translation by Tim
/========================================================/

The cat with a glass eye sings, loud and proud.
The cat with a glass eye sings, while wind brushes his beard, proudly he sings.

If my voice withered, I’ll go to the river and lick my own reflection in the water.
If today’s meal is better than yesterday’s,
I’ll say “Today is a great day” and look up into the sky with a smile.

Ah…I’ll always sing as hard as possible.
Ah…I’ll always live as hard as I can.

The cat with a glass eye sings, while starved, proudly he sings.
The cat with a glass eye sings, as proof of life, proudly he sings.
The cat with a glass eye shouts, life is short, proudly he shouts.
The cat with a glass eye shouts, now is important, proudly he shouts.

There is a meaning to life, therefore, I cannot waste one second.
Even if storm comes, or rain falls,
I will always, with full strength, look up into the sky with a smile.

Ah…someday I’ll become one of the stars that twinkles in the sky.
Ah…until that day, I’ll keep on singing.

If my voice withered, I’ll go to the river and lick my own reflection in the water.
There is a meaning to life, therefore, I cannot waste one second.
Therefore, I’ll sing. I will alway sing. I will always sing. I’ll shout about “NOW”.

The cat with a glass eye becomes a star in the sky, and his loud voice has stopped.
The cat burned the last fragement of his life, and his favorite blues will never be heard again.

But your blues is inscribed inside of everyone’s heart.
From now on, if there’s anything terrible, everyone will start to sing,
while remembering the cat with a glass eye.
and look up into the sky and sings the glass blues.

Ah…I always sing as hard as possible.
Ah…I always live as hard as I can.
Ah…if there’s a great shadow in front.
Ah…I always sing as hard as possible.
/=================================================================/

And thus the sun set down... With only 3 Weeks left....

Mr Children - Fake

2008-10-28T07:00:00.002+08:00

======================================================================
Artist = Mr Children
Title = Fake
Credits = Meg Chan (Link)
======================================================================
I'll come right out and say it
We're just fakes made to look like the real thing
And we live in false bottoms
So no one sees through us

The desire to curse someone
Swells up from my cheeks to my diaphragm
"I hate this"
So I come up with a desperate plan
And manage to get through another day

Clutching my emptiness
My dreams hanging from me
I take off to tomorrow from the second floor
Even if I turn to ashes
And if I give up
I'll just start over again from scratch
Looks like I'm still
Unable to hate myself, oh oh oh
I'll believe the lies
I'm soaked in

What pace should I set?
What should I try first?
I wring out every bit of knowledge I have
But in the end it works against me

If a woman says, "I love you"
She's just using you
In place of someone else
If I realize that in the middle of unhooking her bra
I just keep rocking my hips

Burdened with loneliness
Connected by love
I take off from the second basement of my past
Like a hyena
I stumbled and was overtaken
But I dashed and caught up
And regaind a little
Pride in myself, oh oh oh
But what I grabbed
Was just another fake

The noises that assault you
The images you see
If you cut them off for a while and open your heart
What can you see?
Whose voice can you hear?
Will I be able to hold you forever?

Clutching my emptiness
My dreams hanging from me
I take off to tomorrow from the second floor
I'll do a high jump
And if I'm fooled
That won't stop me from trusting again
If I can keep from doubting anyone, oh oh oh
If we can forgive each other
Even if someday
The treasure I held so tightly
Is revealed to be a fake, oh oh oh
I'll believe the lies
Ground into the world
Everything's a fake
Even that...
====================================================================

Just Updating once in a while to blow off dust.

光与暗的世界 - 我到底在哪里？

2008-08-02T18:32:00.002+08:00

有如朝影般的
我开始觉被放置于黑暗之中
光明弃我而去

已被抛弃的我努力向前
终于抵达光明与黑暗的界限前

可是当我开始向交界线踏步时
光明仿佛拒绝我似的
刺痛般的
我向后退了一步

我开始摸索
是我被黑暗软化了
还是我被光明认为是个不欢迎的一个个体

Pictures Credits : Here

1 small step for me, a big step for my life

2008-07-31T09:56:00.002+08:00

I will be heading for my Medical Check up today, and I'm still slacking around the house as of 10:05 when I'm Scheduled at 13:30. Guess I just wasn't really caring about it.

Its being boring now. Project is finally over, Assignment is also done, only left with 1 quiz, 2 final test, 2 exam, and im considered a full Alumni. But, as it approaches the end of exam, more people are going into army. It just feels kind of bored.

From anime, i moved on to Jdrama now. I rather prefer to watch drama now, as they do not screw up that much and it has better storyline then what I get from anime.

Thats about all.

Friends

2008-06-05T07:14:00.002+08:00

A close friend is getting enlisted today, while I do not have the chance to see him off myself, heres a small write up about it.

His one of the few close friends I made from my poly life, which we came to know a weird way too. But the special part comes in where his thinking in relationships is close to mine, even thought neither of us were ever in one.

We had similar hobbies and its natural that we clicked fast, debate over similar topics and also gossiping sometimes about others, or maybe just going around saying 'Hello' whenever we see a pretty girl.

We did countless stuff, which made my poly life much more easier to go over as well, with the occasional stay overs, over nights, camps, outings, where we sometimes just talk cock the whole night.

While we always seem to be playing around in school, it is inevitable that for someone whose more caution in his academic results, I am now a step behind. They have to go first, and I will have to slowly catch up with those which I give a head start.

As a person who sux at saying anything in person, I would like to say a great Thank You to him for making my life happy in poly, heres something which is better yet stated, most people would know this song already.

Why - Ayaka

2008-05-18T00:19:00.002+08:00

Was hooking up the net looking for the OST for the ending of Final Fantasy 7 - Crisis Core. After several searching I finally found it. Its a good song, espically for those in solitary.

While playing Crisis Core, I felt 1 of the greatest emotional as the past of Zack was being revealed from the storyline.

Why is it that someone destined to die, had such a past which is so unfair leaving him dead. To me, his death is more impact than that of Aerie's death.

Here goes, Why by Ayaka

//====================================================//
//=Chinese Lyrics for a change, as there is no English translation for it yet.=//

瞳之深处变得模糊看不见
心底之中可还有感觉？

掌握这世界的全部
那才是你的幸福？

Why 仰望着孤独苍穹？
Why 展现笑容吧
不擅言辞
知道你的这种性格

久远之前曾发生过什么？
你的双眸转开视线

一个人寂寞的夜晚被拥抱着
是否知晓那种温暖

Why 拒绝的姿态？
Why 敞开心怀
背负着沉重行李
请相信……
我有着接受你的力量

自由的人有些笨拙
自由的人有些不安……

Why 仰望着孤独苍穹？
Why 展现笑容吧
不擅言辞
知道你的这种性格
请相信吧……

//===================================================//

~ Sakura ~

2008-05-01T01:03:00.002+08:00

随着时间慢慢的流失

我也开始注意

记忆里的那熟悉的声音和脸孔

开始淡忘掉了。。。

也许人，就是这么健忘。。。

但是我相信如果有一天我们在人身的路程上碰面

我们一定会认出彼此。。。

//====================================//
Title : Sakura
Artist : Ikimono - Gakari
Credits - www.kiwi-musume.com

The cherry blossoms fell, fluttering down
Embracing every bit of my fluttering love
Even now, I’m dreaming the dream I prayed for with you that spring
The cherry blossoms scatter

From the train I could see
The traces of one day
The big bridge we crossed together
Graduation time came
And you left town
On the colourful riverbank, I search for that day

We went our separate ways
And brought our spring to an end
My future is in full bloom
But it fills me with panic
This year, once again, the cherry blossoms are reflected
In the window of the Odakyuu train
In my heart
I hear your voice

The cherry blossoms fell, fluttering down
Embracing every bit of my fluttering love
Even now, I’m dreaming the dream I prayed for with you that spring
The cherry blossoms scatter

The start of my letter to you
Says “I’m doing OK”
You’ll see through that little lie, won’t you?
Even the town going past
Is taking in the spring
The flowers are opening their buds again this year

I’ll get through these days without you
And I, too, will grow up
Will I forget everything?
“I really loved you”
I hold out my hands to the cherry blossoms
Now my love is wrapped in the spring

The cherry blossoms fell, fluttering down
Embracing every bit of my fluttering love
Even now, the strong words you gave me
Remain in my heart; the cherry blossoms dance

The cherry blossoms fell, fluttering down
Embracing every bit of my fluttering love
Those days I dreamed of on that distant spring day
Disappear into the sky

The cherry blossoms fall, fluttering down
And I walk out into the spring
I clutch the dream I promised you that spring
Tightly to my chest; the cherry blossoms dance

//==============================================//

无题

2008-04-20T00:32:00.005+08:00

人

总是在失去以后才开始后悔

物

总是在忘了交给对方而失去了以后能在联络的可能性

事

总是在发生以后才开始发现自己的不对

情

总是在以情未了时才开始补救

爱

总是在不对的情况下发生，也永远得不到期待的结果

如果每个人都有一个机会重来

你，会怎样的珍惜那个机会呢？

这是在我读秒速5厘米的小说后的感想。

A rare Gold

2008-02-28T22:03:00.001+08:00

Something I found on Youtube, being bored this days. Give this video a try, its a very nice Machima on the Song "My December" by Linkin Park.

=Lyrics=

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear

this is my december
this is my snow covered home
this is my december
this is me alone

and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
these are my snow covered dreams

this is me pretending
this is all i need

and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things i said
to make you feel like that
and i
just wish that i didnt feel
like there was something i missed
and i
take back all the things that i said to you

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

this is my december
this is my time of the year
this is my december
this is all so clear

and i give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to

朝影

2008-02-25T00:54:00.002+08:00

何为朝影？

一个早上所投放的影子？

是什么影子呢？

一个人的影子？

一棵树的影子?

人群移动的影子？

那么。。。。

朋友离去的影子算不算呢？

当他们离去时，留下来的是自己时

有没有想过为什么不能和他们一起离去呢？

何时

我们没有为自己想一下

被其他人留下来的感受呢？

路过我们当时能记起这感觉

我们还会像现在那么狼狈吗？

那么

现在的我们

只能看着离去的影子

在这早晨

渐渐的消失。。。。

The Party is coming to an end

2008-02-17T20:30:00.002+08:00

Well... Have being working recently and also saw things going on, which some how started me to write this post.

天下没有不散的宴席

was what i left the previous post.

As I am staying back, I kinda take things more lofty, as I'm not going to match up with some of my peers at all. I felt sad and regret myself for fucking my own studies.

It all just takes a little effort, but I never seem to care or give. And now I'm left behind, having to see people graduating, leaving for army, pursuing further studies. While I'm still wondering, what can I do with my life?

As My working duration in the hotel has being long. I tend to observe many things. Most obvious things? People leaving and going.

Just recently back to my Chinese restaurant at the hotel, I feel that some people are missing, and true enough, they have left for either better places, or because they cannot stand working any more.

And also part timers, even easier to see, new faces everywhere. New people here and there, all of whom I never meet before, after I have settled down in the office. I miss the old days, but it seems that I am not able to get it back, even if I do, it will never feel the same at all.

Friends, leaving soon, graduating. And every time I heard of the word, my heart ache, for my own laziness of not studying. I could have Graduated, but I am not. While others are leaving, I'm to stay, and face the same people for an extra semester.

It sucks, and definitely is an added extra toll to what I have to bear with till now. There are others who are also facing the same thing as me, but they do not need to work their ass off for school fees. I felt more and more negative with each passing day, guess this is going to drive me off to solitude.

soon

Chinese New Year

2008-02-06T15:41:00.000+08:00

Just placing this here, as a sort of a "Place Holder" if I am going to do some serious blogging tonight. But for now, its just to say

恭喜发财

And also this Chinese New Year will be a special one to me, where the phase

天下没有不散的宴席

Is explained to me, in events as this Chinese New Year Unfolds.

Happy Chinese New Year Guys =)

One Melody

2008-01-30T00:07:00.000+08:00

This, shall be my last emo post (hope so ^^'')

As the other post have stated. Apparently My mail did not receive a reply. But I've also take it that its over, its kinda long, since i do reliased about it, since mid last year. But I've kinda felt that... Maybe its just me abstaine myself from doing any more foolish things about myself.

有时觉得我本身是在自作多情，也有时觉得自己付不出那么都得时间。

后来的结果永远都觉得只能以这种下场来收拾，更觉得自己有时就是这么得容易被一时冲动的感情给这么的蒙住了自己的方向感，不管多么的提醒自己，不管多么的自我反省。到头来还是被一个“情”字给乱了阵脚，把本来已测定好的如意算盘，亲自粉碎。

但是，也是从这些失败的经验中，学得到。有些事，硬来勉强是没结果的。宁可事后才发现然后后悔，我宁愿一开始就以失败开始。至少没有拖累其他人，有时太麻烦周围的朋友了。每一次心情不好时得向你们倾诉，想起来真有点不好意思。

这首歌，将会是把我部分的感情歌唱出来的一首歌曲。希望听这首歌的人，能喜欢它。
/==================================================================/

One Melody
歌手：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki
作詞：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki
作曲：アンジェラ・アキ / Angela Aki

If it's true love, it's better to set the person you love free
And if he returns despite that, its fate
If he doesn't, its fate too

One single word that's trival to you
Shatter my ideals and dreams into pieces
As sorrow changes into hollowness,
And hollowness into pretended strength
It becomes "goodbye"

There is just one melody
If all the sounds in the world were to disappear
And only one song were to remain
That'll be just one melody
And it's probably the tone of me throwing away my pride
To say "I'm sorry" to you

Alone, I tried visiting the seashore
Where we used to walk together
Letting my memories flow into the murky sea
But the crashing waves brought them back

I can't get used to being alone
Although I can't stop thinking about what you'd be doing now
I can't even give you a call
If only I can just fall in love with someone else
But my heart won't move

There is just one melody
If there's a rhythmn that can't be drowned
Even by the loudest crowd of laughters
That'll be just one melody
And it's probably the tone of you calling my name
From the deepest depth of my memory

If only I can just fall in love with someone else
But my heart won't move

There is just one melody
If all the sounds in the world were to disappear
And only one song were to remain
Just one melody
If there's a rhythmn that can't be drowned
Even by the loudest crowd of laughters
Just one melody
A song of eternity that'll remain through the ages
And that's the tone of "I love you"
Sung by the high flying birds
When they return once again

If it's true love, it's better to set the person you love free

/==================================================================/
Credits : Chrono_Cross

Reality...

2008-01-26T12:28:00.000+08:00

I've saw it, as i do suspect. As the song title is and how it always turn out to be... Things will never work the way it will. But atlease I know that, she is not tied down by me, she is living her life happy over the border...

Another Planet. As its title sounds, even thought i had trouble finding this song's lyrics. It does not seem hard to understand this song. Even if i might be wrong in impretating the meaning of it due to my affection to her. But this is the song which reminds me of the most obvious truth that we both, cant be possible together that easily... Its distance apart is long. Socially and mentally our distance between us is great. And emotionally the distance is the longest...

I might have being pesimatic about this relationship after all, since there is never an answer given to me, i cling on to it, hoping that it would change for the better. But after all its hopes of turning for the better is low. And now that the answer is seen. I can only accept it and take it as it is.

Feels like yesterday was when we first met. When I confessed to her, and now today I saw, the fact that after all, my chances were slim. Lets just hope that i can now focus more on my stuff. With a lesser distraction aside.

Dreams.... 夢 .... 梦.....

2008-01-12T00:32:00.000+08:00

Its time to add more stuff here....

I had a dream, of where I will be soon leaving the school, on board the Society express. Ill be soon moving on with life, and i'm at a loss of what i can do... I cant tell how i can move on.... But today, I seem to have a view light on what is going on, and what i can do....

When i was having a chat, over with a few of my close friends. I understand what i have, the something special God give to everyone on their birth. (I may be a free thinker, but thats what allows me to choose what to belive in) Which was my friends, I may not be blessed with any special talents. But surely, I have a group of friends, which i know. That even when we moved out into the society, we will still stick together, as buddies who poke fun of each other. Calling names and also disturbing one another. Not for the sake of satisfying our ownself, but because we all know each other well enough to know, how we all can feel happy and enjoy each other's presence.

And that was when i listen of several OST's on my Trusty Zen, that i am able to belive in myself.
That i can do what i wanted to do, I have Dreams I wanted to Fullfill, I have Aims I want to Achieve. And Now i Know That I can Do it.

我要放得下我的尊严，放下我倔强的态度，抛弃我以前所有不对的看法。
我要每一天在生活上，看开一点，放开一点。不被一时冲动的感情蒙住了眼睛。
我要每一天，慢慢的向我的理想踏进一步。
我，能做到。
我，会做到。
我，将是个会在社会上打出一片天下的人！

New Year, Whats new?

2008-01-01T04:52:00.000+08:00

So, What have you done for new year?

I went for a count down dinner, with a group of friends, strolled around the city area, Squeezed throught a Horde of People to get to see and video the fire works.

And walked a big round being led by the crowd, and end of at places where i did not plan to go at all, rested and ate supper, walked back to grab a Night Rider back.

When on my way back, i've reliased a few things which i felt, shld be thrown out to set things right.

What is the things driving everyone?
Ive spoken to nic, about the heights everyone feels for the new year.
It begins from an anticipation, to a hype, moved on to the climax, post climax, and the anti climax which is Ended with a Void.

The anticipation, is where the emotional energy is stored, and keep on piling it over and over again. When it hits the Hype level, it causes the person to feel excited, way more than the Anticipation level, partially due to the closing of the event. The Climax, where the energy is released, and bursts out. When it reaches the Post climax, partial of the energy is still there and then when it hits the anti climax, a negative feeling arouses. due to the slowly release of the energy and the depletion will led to a void, where people will end up just wanting something simple, like going home to sleep or some where to rest.

When i look at it, althought it feels inhumane to put human emotion to this kind of energy level theory, but its true in a sense for me as there is a behaviour pattern for all human when they are facing different stimulant. Its different for people to people but it is the true standard, when traced down to the roots, the expression is the same throught out.

And when i felt it this way. I kinda feel the reason why in the end, in a relationship. It will end if the relationship starts, and continues the same way.

The reason why people and people can be together as friends or family and lovers, are throught constant touching of another's life and heart. A saying goes like this "Never give me you heart, its not what i want. Never will i give you my heart, as it will not be of your liking. Together we shall, share our hearts. For that is what we worked for"

It is why now a days people are more attached sometimes, by the factors displayed by another party, while love blinds them of their short coming, or being rushed to make a judgement before finally reliasing and stamping a classification on the person. They do not try to discover whats under, they merely go for whats on the surface.

And also the understanding of another. People do not try to understand others but wants others to Understand them all the time, and take care of himself/herself and knows what himself/herself is thinking all the time. This fuel to the rapid Marriage and Divorce, Aka Shotgun Marriage in this society. Reasons for Divorce ranging from "Not suitable for each other afterall" to something as simple as "He/she was not who he/she is before marriage".

Sad to say that althought this is the new year, its something i starting to see from people. Maybe i should have some happy thoughts instead, but nevermind. Im tired and i want to sleep. Maybe after a good rest i am going to have a better view of the world. From a new world view, and another perspective.

Its Christmas Eve

2007-12-24T08:58:00.000+08:00

Well, its Christmas Eve, it means i am working again. And this time, I just hope it will be another fun filled experience for me.

Rather nothing much was enticing me, its my 4th time continuing working as it is. I do feel proud for working it. As it allows me to know more people and know more things which goes around.

But i'll rather, be resting at home or going out with my friends, or even taking a chance crossing the border to visit people, like how some of my friends are.

13 Hours left. Marry Christmas in advance.

\(^.^)/

花-火

2007-12-19T00:09:00.000+08:00

/====================================================================/
Song Title : Hanabi
Singer : Ikimono-Gakari

The flowers are set alight
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream

Two petals from the fireworks of dreams fall quietly in the sky
Did you, who went away to the other side, see it too? It’s the same light

And
Even if the two are apart, I believe that they’ll come together again someday
I’m singing to you, singing of this love that tears my heart apart, can you hear my voice?

It’s fireworks, bursting in an instant

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

All kinds of words scattered abot mischievously
And the confusion that rooted me to the spot quietly disappeared, can you see

Tomorrow?

It’s fireworks, bursting in an instant

I grasp the sparkling, dancing flowers of dreams
As they rain down into my hands
Let my love ring out to you like I wish it to
If it’s going to be over, at least let it be strong
The flowers are set alight

It’s fireworks, bursting in an instant

Sparkle, dance, send up a blue dream
Someday we’ll meet
You, me, and the love that joins us
We’ll be strong together, forever

Bloom proudly, way up high
Sparkling, dancing, releasing a blue dream
The love that protects us rings out in earnest
At least it will be strong until the end
The flowers are set alight

/===================================================================================/

Hardly do i do rock songs here. But if you listen to this song first, without the lyrics, you might not get used to it. Personally it takes me after several times to get used to this song, to find out how it echos with me. And appreantly the lyrics when i found it, shakes me down the core of my personal thinking.

Hanabi, aka Fire Works. In chinese and japanese its termed as "Fire Flower". We know flowers have a short life, fire is even faster to die off. Fireworks meaning fire in the shape of a flower, spectacular but short life span. While Fireworks are nice to see, but because they only have 1 chance to bloom, and only this chance to bloom, they are gone forever after that. In what we would erk out as smokes and debries of gun powder.

From this song, not just the feelings i get from the lyrics. When i first heard this song. To me it felt like everyone is meant to do something, something which outshines themself, like fire works, bloom into a beautiful fire works which people can gaze at, to feel happy at, to relax at. Thats why fire works are released during festival celebrations.

It make me feel that humans should not just care about themself, but bloom for someone else, for someone they care, they want to make happy. Even at the cost of his or her life. Thats what i felt what people should do.
And from the lyrics we can see, that it does not matter how much 1 would wish for another party's present, as long as both shares the same wish, they will be together forever, even if their contact could be as short as a fire works blooming, in this lonely night sky....

Byousoku 5cm ~ 秒速５センチメートル

2007-12-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Althought I have spoken about this long time ago... But I shall formally blog it today for real.
Presenting a Different Version from Crest and Bjorn's.

Overview
------------
This movie has being a subject of little discussion, much of its reason would be actually because there is much of a difficulty expressing out their thoughts.

For myself, I'll put it this way. I am currently in a situation similar to this, although in a much worse one than this. Thats why i feel that maybe i can look at this movie in a different view.

Byousoku 5cm, a movie which as its title shows, is a theme where distance, is compared to time.
What kind of distance? and what kind of time? Its being reflected that its the distance between people to people, from a point where they meet, till the part where they "stranger" themself. Like that of a petal falling off from a Sakura Tree.

We were introduced to the story revolving mainly Takaki Tohno and Akari Shinohara. Where the story begins and the development of the romance starts off. And towards the end where the Childhood love slowly deminish, into a past memory which Takai clings to and Akari as a sweet memory.

What was really felt here was that for my own pespective. When I notice the scene where Akari took out a letter as well, and look at it. Compared to the scene where Takaki drops the letter out from his pocket, there is a distinct difference in the thoughts to come.

The feeling which Takaki have, was a reverse from what Akari would have felt which is that he felt that the link, which he and Akari has once shared, Severed by the cruelty distance have being established. But for Akari, she felt a different view as, for a female (Being subjective, Please understand this is my view) would wonder, How much can she trust in this relationship she is having with him now.

And thus this opens up the Part 2, where Kanae Sumida was introduced, to the story of Takaki in his High School. We were shown that yet again, the distance now is bigger. For the fact that Takaki wrote emails, which he himself realise he never send or save. But just composed, with his vivid dream of viewing a grand view with someone, whom we can tell is Akari, but the features on her was never facing his way. It depict the situation where, he cannot confirm as well, if she can be sharing the same feeling as he is, as of now still towards her.

The feelings of Sumida, where she burst out into tears, also shows out by the scene where the rocket takes off. From there we see, that the shadow cast by the emission of the Rocket seperates the sky into 2 distinct faction. Where we can also tell from the fact that it shows no matter how, she can never replace Akari in Takaki's heart. As he never looked at her, but always somewhere behind her. Althought the feelings he give her is what she liked about him, she know herself that those feelings are also the pain she suffers under.

Which kind of bring out something real life. Have we ever over looked something around us? Have we ever over looked something important, just when we were focusing on another issue or thing which is important to us? It has always being, and will ever, be something which human will remorse after reliasing it.

And as the chapter close, we came to see that to Kanae, she can not let go of the feelings, even if it hurts her badly, she can never let it go. Which also depicts to us the willingness of a human being to cling on to something, even thought it might hurt us. Like how Takaki holds on to the feelings he have for Akari.

But soon in the last chapter, Where the compilation chapter shows, and where the theme song "One more time, One more chance" plays. We see to the point that for Takaki, the tiredness has wear him off, like how in one of the Bartender's episode have shown. That the sparkle he once had, has caused him to forever never be able to see the sparkle he sees in the past.

Shown in the relationship he have with Misuno, where they have dated 3 years and the Message she send to him, clearly displays out the fact that they might be dating, but his heart is never open to her.

The feelings he have now compared to the ones he have when he left the station after meeting Akari, would be something like a Galaxy loosing all its star. Where he lose the feelings, but only dig his head in to the world of the Adults everyday, day in day out. Until his numb from the situation.

For Akari, Life have moved on for her and clearly shown is the fact that she have gotten married. Appreantly for her is that life has to change, she adapted to the changes and grow from it.

As we can tell from the movie's ending, the song played while showing the characters, was very significant. We can see from the stanzas where Takaki is still looking, corners of the street, stations, like the previous encounters he had where Akari might be there. But for Akari, it was her with her husband, living a new life from her parents, with her Husband to be.

And as the song goes, it also reflects the feelings which Takaki have, he would want to, given the time, to share more time with Akari, given the chance, to say proudly to Akari that he love her and wants to cherish her. And also the fact that one of the stanza, shows the reason why his dating Misuno. Where his just trying to ease his emptyness.

And the last part of the movie, where the trains pass between them, we can clearly see that Takaki is moving away from the shadows, the painful feelings which he cling to, or rather the fact that his already used to or numb to. Where he let out his hands after the 2nd train passes by, clearly shows that he is in a despair, of how fate wants to toy him. But the smile he left with him as he turns, can be shown as a fact that his already used to, or rather, glad Akari was not over the other side of the Railroad.

For to him, even if Akari were to see him, what could happen? They cannot go back to they way they are, in the past. For she have moved on, with a new life. Even if Takaki has begin a new life, yet the sad feelings left would be that they could be a couple, but they never.

We look again at life, does liking someone means to be with that person forever? Sometimes this seems like a dumb question but yet, when we look at some way. Are we sure what we want is what we want years down the road? We can never know, and we can never tell.

I shall sign off for now. Leaving a gap for thoughts for you guys to see and think.

Eien no Uta

2007-11-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

~~This is what i just feel like listening to, for tonight~~

Well still feel like bitching, rather, just throwing out my thoughts here.

Kinda irritated. Well not against people but just issue. So dont get me wrong here.
Was thinking why sometimes people just cant put some pirority on some other things. But nvm, its like this i guess with people. Or rather they will feel that you are pressuring them so much that they just think that your just an asshole. Well, rather im just a bastard. If you want to catagorise me that way.

Sometimes just irritated that i have to keep matching up to others, Like fuck it, you dun want to fit in to others but you want others to listen to you? What gives you the right? Why must everything go thru u? And u dun even have the balls to speak up about it. Only hiding some other people and excuses.

Weakling, coward. Thats all i have to say. Just irritation on myside. Lets hope sleeping will remove it.

Sometimes its just maybe the sky, the crowd, the issue, the person. Or rather, its just me.

Fuck it, off to sleep

Somat|c out

YATA! HELLO! NEW YORK!

2007-11-21T08:26:00.000+08:00

Have to say this for my intro, as i really liked that sentence since i start watching heroes.

The Wackiness and the wits i'm experiencing is kinda getting over hyped recently.
With respect to the fact that i got bombarded during my review yesterday....
Fuck that old Aunty! Zomg

Any way second thing to put here is i gotta to focus.... damn having to play games, make my map, and do my review ppt, and have another ppt 2day, another negotiation 2day, im kinda busy..... URG!

You got my intention

song for this post

Utada Hikaru's Flavor of life
YES! UTADA HIKARU!!!!! <3 <3 <3

/===================================================================================/
Singer : Utada Hikaru
song Title : Flavor of life

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness.
The flavor of life

Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers,
like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest
because of being unable to just move one more step forward
what’s causing this frustration baby

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.
it sparks no interest in me
even when things do not go the way you want
it doesnt mean you’ve thrown your life away

When asked ‘ whats wrong?’
I answer ‘its nothing’
The smile that disappears after goodbye
It’s unlike me

The more i wish to believe in you,
For some reason it hurts even more
‘i like you a lot’ instead of ‘i love you’ sounds more like you
the flavor of life

the period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgotten
I want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more

A future tender and warmer than a diamond
i want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to spend it with you

when you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesnt
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

/===================================================================================/
Credits - Here

Enjoy

So Far... So Sian

2007-11-08T01:19:00.000+08:00

=====================================================================

~Kimi Ga Iru Kawa

~Because Of You

~By : SunSet Swish

Hesitation, the words won't come out

I can't act like myself

When I'm with you

From the day we met

A comfortable pain

Was born in my heart

I want to believe more than anyone
In these ordinary days
In the meaning of life and everything

Because of you
This unchanging love

Supports me

Though I'm insignificant

It's a strange power

I wait in vain, unconfident

I get worried

And then feel mean

The more I love you

The more this suspicion grows

I could lose everything
I want to believe more than anyone

Our hearts are connected

Even if this world

Should end

This shapeless love

Will never disappear

Let's pledge eternity

On a twinkling shooting star

I want to protect you more than anyone

The reason I have dreams

For this vague future

Is because of you

You're more precious than anyone

Now and forever

Let's walk together

Sharing the same time

====================================================================

So... Its Being long, But i really does not have much else to say, bitching wise is boring, emoing wise is getting worse. I shall just Post up pics, and music which explain my current Feelings...

My Birthday

Starting Of Mooncake Job,

Took the Shot at Takashimaya Before its open to the Public

How the Booth Looks when its time to close

The Big Ass Lorry we take for delivery, Sometimes.

Wana try sitting inside the Freezing Compartment?

Could you belive this is where the Muslim Storeman took their nap at During Fasting Months?

Underneath Cardboards!

Great Words of Wisdom, Learn it

Full Moon... I dun turn into a Werewolve dun worry =p

Last but not lease... Byosouku 5CM OST SINGLE!

HAven took the chance to take more pics of my DVD also..

Experiences

2007-09-24T23:28:00.000+08:00

Both Moon were taken At 2 different times. Sometimes i belive my thinking is just the same.
Its always the similar things, the same Stuff. But always Looking different at different times.

I have a Mind which changes all the time. Guess thats why i cannot focus on something too long. But I do reliased that. As much as i like to say it. Its easier Describe with this line from the current shifted Song on my player : One more time, One more chance

"If it’s just to dispel loneliness, anyone will do fine"

My mind circles the Lines of
"If I were to lose anything more than this, will my heart be able to forgive myself?"
"No matter what extent of pain it would be, I’d like to be able to meet you."

And i kept Pondering over this
"I seem to have always been the one to break our times together"
"This selfish behaviour had been all the more given into"

As it soon becomes
"One more chance My legs are being led by memories"
"One more chance I am unable to choose the next destination"

The respective Chrous Rings me

"I have been searching all this while for traces of you
Be it the intersections Be it within my dreams
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to be there
If there were to be a miracle, I wish I could show you immediately
The new dawn, the person I am from now on
And the words ‘I like you’ that I had failed to say"

"I ended up searching for your smile all this while
The waiting area of the express trains, the sides of the railway crossings
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to be there
If my life was to be repeated, I wish to be by your side no matter what
I no longer have anything else I desire
Things that are important other than you"

The Corner ill Forever Remember, No Matter How much i have changed. No Matter How Many I have Gone Throught.

The Dream

2007-08-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

如果说，你所梦见得梦境会成真。那我就如我的部落格的题名一样，刚刚好走运了。

昨晚，我梦见了她。
已经不知多久没见过她了。就算是以前，见过她穿便服也只有一次。但是在梦里看见得她，还是和以前一样。
起来时梦了什么也忘了大部分，能记得的也只有她对着我微笑的那张脸。

我又开始忧愁了，以经数周没接到她的回信。
我本来已经开始放弃了。
我不明白为什么会做这场梦。
我觉得我什么都不会明白。

Your Favourite Song

By : Uverworld

=====================================================================

I still wasn't able to say "I love you" today
I saw you off, and though we'd just been together
I wanted to see you again, and I hummed
Your favorite song over and over on the way home

The tone of your voice, the direction of your gaze
Even the words you exchange with others
Your small gestures bewilder me
I pray you feel the same
I pray the answer is here
I've been waiting forever
If there's gonna be a miracle, make it happen here and now

I still wasn't able to say "I love you" today
I saw you off, and though we'd just been together
I wanted to see you again right away
And I hummed your favorite song over and over
On the way home

Even your warmth when I accidentally touched your hand is precious
felt like you'd accept me as I am
The things I realized from meeting you
Are changing me, more than ever before

After my last love, I hung my head
And said I'd never love again
But then I was able to think I want to live for someone else again
I'm going to tell you how I feel

No matter where I am or what I'm doing
I can't get you out of my head
You taught me the heartbreak of not being able to reach you
And love's bittersweetness and love's joy

Your smile and your voice on the other end of the line
Your small body and your dislike of crowds
And your bad habits, you're shining with things that are yours alone
Everything is the one and only

Inside of me, my love for you
Changes into the strength to live tomorrow
If we could face each other
Let's walk in step down a road of trust

I love you so much
It's painful and my love just grows
I wanted to see you again, and I hummed
Your favorite song over and over on the way home
===================================================================

如果这能是我现在的近况，那能多么好啊。。。

One More Time, One More Chance

2007-08-24T23:18:00.000+08:00

=====================================================================
One more time, One more chance
=====================================================================
作詞．作曲：山崎将義　　
編曲：森　俊之

If I were to lose anything more than this, will my heart be able to forgive myself?
No matter what extent of pain it would be, I’d like to be able to meet you.
One more time May the seasons stop changing
One more time The times we had joked together

I seem to have always been the one to break our times together
This selfish behaviour had been all the more given into
One more chance My legs are being led by memories
One more chance I am unable to choose the next destination

I have been searching all this while for traces of you
The opposite platform The windows inside alleways
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to be there
If my wish could be granted, I wish to be by your side right now
There is no longer anything I cannot achieve
I will show you how I can forgo everything to embrace you

If it’s just to dispel loneliness, anyone will do fine
But I am unable to deceive myself on this night where stars seem to be falling
One more time May the seasons stop changing
One more time The times we had joked together

I have been searching all this while for traces of you
Be it the intersections Be it within my dreams
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to be there
If there were to be a miracle, I wish I could show you immediately
The new dawn, the person I am from now on
And the words ‘I like you’ that I had failed to say

Summer memories are floating around
Those pulses that had disappeared unknowingly

I have been searching all this while for traces of you
On the streets bathed in the lights of dawn in Sakuragichou
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to have come here
If my wish could be granted, I wish to be by your side right now
There is no longer anything I cannot achieve
I will show you how I can forgo everything to embrace you

I have been searching all this while for pieces of you
The shop at my destination, every nook of the newspapers
Even though I knew it is impossible for them to be around
If there were to be a miracle, I wish I could show you immediately
The new dawn, the person I am from now on
And the words ‘I like you’ that I had failed to say

I ended up searching for your smile all this while
The waiting area of the express trains, the sides of the railway crossings
Even though I knew it is impossible for you to be there
If my life was to be repeated, I wish to be by your side no matter what
I no longer have anything else I desire
Things that are important other than you
====================================================================
Credits : LianYL

I was reading this, writen by Crest. One of my Online friends. When he wrote the review of this movie which i had already Fanboyed since its release on the Magazine.

Ill not want to do a review on it. For i felt that its better for those people interested to Watch it than to read reviews. I personally bought the R2 DVD and the Single for the song. Its not that I fanboy, but rather, for something which could echo me, ill want to treasure a copy of it.

The song is now in my Player, feel free to listen to it.

Or you can just load the MV with it. It gives you a short view of the story. And why We Workship Makoto Shinkai.

Its like this, when never i hear this song. IT just tears me sometimes. I Felt that its true as to the Lyrics, I always try to look around, hoping to see you somewhere near me. And everytime i just hope u will really be there while trying to tell myself that its impossible. I guess its always like this, It might just be a wishful thinking on my side but i truly hope, that a miracle would just be granted on me at times. I do not know how 2 express myself sometimes, feeling that i am like a dork infront of you. I keep telling myself that i can talk and chat about other things with you. but it forever fall into a rant. I Choose to edit this part... Now i know where my heart is heading at, whenever i look around. The person im looking for is Yivon, not others. I dunno why, i felt that, im really in love this time with her, its not the usual kiddy feeling any more, i dunno why, but thats me thinking. But still it felt to me that, its just like in the show, the distance between us now, is the same as the emotional distance between us. The Distance which envelopes us is that far, and i dont even know how she thinks, She might still just be treating me as a friend and im the one who have steeped over the border, but still ill say that if she is able to understand this all that im typing, then maybe she can know, but not possible to accept it. Im still a kid, a kid which needs to grow up more, even if i can say i love her now, how may i gurantee her future? I need to work more harder, and learn more, to be worth the level she is of now. I belive that by strengthing myself, there may be a better chance. But still, the distance sometimes along with the dead reply... seems to chill me down... I wonder, if when chances come, could i be the one to walk her down, hand in hand down the red carpet...
I have to Work Hard Now.

Cant say Good Bye To Yesterday

2007-08-11T01:26:00.000+08:00

/==================================================================/

I stare at the stars, and the sky up above

and think what am I made of?

Am I full of sorrow, am I hurt and pain?

Or am I filled with love?

I walk by myself on the streets below

And ask every child I know-

Do you think tomorrow will bring sun or rain?

Which one of these will show

I can't say goodbye to yesterday, my friend

I keep holding on till the end.

Out of the darkness, there is no other way

Then the light leading to yesterday.

It's there that I'll find inner peace, not war.

And dreams that I let slip away.

I will find the joyfulness, I'm looking for

Way back in yesterday

Why can't each of us in the world ever see

The best things in life are free?

Little sounds of laughter, a warn heart, a smile

A kiss from you to me.

I fall to my knees, I cry and I cry

Love, do not pass me by!

Happily ever after

Please stay awhile, make time refuse to fly

I Can't Say Goodbye to Yesterday, my friend.

Cause I know how good it has been...

Facing forever, Here I stand, come what may

Bring the old, bring the new yesterday!

It's there that I'll find inner peace not war,

And dreams that I let slip away

I'll find the joyfulness; I'm looking for

Way back in Yesterday

/==================================================================/

There is a reason why i wanted to start off with this lyrics.

Its just that this song is worth a note. You might say this is a sad song, But i believe that, Jazz is a way of Singing the Blues out of a song, which makes it Beautiful, Than Sad.

Sometimes Human needs to face the Sad Part of life, to Learn and grow. Just like what this song is all about.

It just reminds me of, how I felt of, when I face the feeling of Leaving the Group of Poly Friends i've being always with. Fish, Q, KK,Yip. It might not have being a Very Long time we have known each other, But its defitnitely Fun whenever we get together in class all the time. With them leaving for Attachment, I guess ill have to keep myself from bored all the time in class. Its painful thought, to know that you are half step draging behind the normal schedule. I can only blame myself for it. Well. Time To get some Sleep or Ill not be forgiven by my boss.

Attitude - What Phase of it

2007-07-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

Was chatting with a workplace collegue of mine during a once in a while free time. She is about to transfer to Laundry as she say she cant take the "Standards" of services. As in the pervious resturant she does not need to follow that till she joined our line.

She will take on the Initial S, and i will be my M.

S : Hey, just telling you, I'm getting a transfer to Laundry next week, so you can have the whole resturant to yourself.

M : What you mean the whole resturant to myself? And yar, I did heard about the transfer from the AM.

S : Well its like you are always working so hard, so it makes it look like you own this resturant. But why work so hard? 5pm got people to take over you already, and its now 4pm, you should just go around to slack.

M : Well I'm paid now to do this, so its not really any mistake of mine to be clearing the trolly now. I have to give in my share of what I am paid for, even if its just a mere $5.50 per Hour.

S : Thats a good thinking, but don't you think your too naive? I mean its like, those indian guys are always slacking when its busy, so why work so hard, just be like them lar?

M : Well its ok to slack, but What I am trying to do is not just working, I am proving that those guys are useless, its easy to see that I am better than those good for nothing who cant even get things done properly.

S : But they still gain, I mean like you do all their job, won't they be like more than happy?

M : But you are merely looking on the surface! If you were to see the underneath, I am establishing a contact with my bosses, this means I am given more respect, much more than a Full timer, and Respect comes way better.

S : But still you are losing out for being naive, Don't you think?

M : Well look at this side, Don't you feel better when you see a work done nicely (Me points to the clean Trolly) and that your concious actually feels good?

S : That is indeed a good thinking, but the person who tires out first is you, issint it?

M : Well, atlease when I am done with work, I feel better than slacking around doing nothing.

S : Maybe thats the difference between ages. I'm 30+ this year, and normally I am kicked around after my use have being expired. But your still young. Maybe thats why.

(The conversation came to a halt here as I have to run off to clear more stuff.)

From the above conversation, Its easy to tell, that the thinking of how I belive in working is different, maybe from nationality (She is from Malaysia, while I am born local) Family Background, age and maybe gender.

But the thing is that, what i felt that my pespective might be naive, or simple. But I do feel that, giving all you can during work and make yourself exhausted due to it is more fun, and it gives you a better sense of satisfaction. It make you feel that you are needed and makes it more noticible to people of your presents.

Heres a short story i read about before.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mr Chan is a Manager in a large Logistic Company, his in his forties, worked with this company since his twenties and rised to his current position since the large retrenchment of the older workers, when his 28 year old.

He have being stuck with the same position for 10+ years, everyday he will try to make himself look busy and shan away from meetings, avoiding any workload and distributing it to all his subordinates when he gets any, always claming credits and also flattering his boss.

One day a new worker who joined the company, after a few weeks of his observation, he openly asked Mr Chan in his office when being appointed the job which he recived from his higher ups.

"Sir, may I ask you, What have you wanted to accomplish this many years working here?"
Mr Chan replied in a quiet tone "Just earning my living enough to retire, thats all I ever wanted in life." The young blood replied, with a straight tone " I have heard of all your stories Mr Chan, did you know that if you would have channelled those effords in advoiding work into seriously doing something, You would not have being here, but at the higher floors (Director/President Floor) for a few years ago."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What does this story shows, is that when someone really do try hard, he/she can make a difference, and defitnitely will make something come out of nothing. Its the same when you used all the best you can to avoid work, you wasted precious effort in something so trivial, which is a sad issue.

What I do feel is that, God Helps those who Self Helps, Not those who always find the leeway out, but those who puts burdens on themself and slowly solve them, be it how long it takes to solve them.

Plus, Never expect to get in luck, but always keep a positive attitude in life, for everything comes with a price, never expect something to happen to you without paying off. Unless its in your dreams.

What does it mean by being Friends

2007-07-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

This shall be a post, insipired by what Kiat Kai posted, and of what had being going on around me for times.

要开始说的话，那就从最近认识的朋友说起吧。

Its being fun, that knowing people online, getting to know that they are of the same interest with you. You share the same thoughts, you share the same interests, you share the same height which brought you throught life. But all you know of him/she might just be a nick name which appears on the particular channel. Soon you meet up with him/she to find out that you actually had crossings with he/she before in your life. But never know till you two finally chatted on the Internet.

However, While you soon stay with this person, you reliase that his/she is of different background, of a different birth right or place from you, you feel a difference which still seperates the two of you, he/she might feel it too, but both of you just ignored to enjoy the fun you guys feel best. Playing, Singing, Watching Movie, going out for a meal, meeting up after work and more.

But soon you felt the difference still tears a part off you, and you felt the same off the other party. And soon it fells to static and no one starts to meet up. The atmosphere starts to change and when you last knew it, that person merely returned to the same nickname, on the same channel. Which is the same for you.

What my point in the previous chapter is happening now, in real life, be it on me or on others. Its right now happening. What is sad about this, is that people care too much about differences and faults. Which can never remove as long as people choose to compare with other things.

For me, this online community i have being with thus far, had being fun. Made new friends, gain new knowledge, but still till now, all i can say about most of them is that, it just resumes back to the nickname i see, every time i log on, under my nickname which people know me as (even in real life people do call me by that nickname).

Its sad, how human have evolved till now, the sad truth of their ownself of not able to allow difference between each other stays. Cases happen here and there, sometimes people just cant accept others easily. It always take some sudden surprises to make some people change, but most of the time, its too late for salvation.

What i felt that being friends, is of people, not related to you, able to share all your joy, your sadness, your burden, while you do so for them. Caring for them while they look out for you. In a platonic and Mutual way. Not for any benificial purposes but just for the sake and for the point of being "Friends".

If you were to key in "Friends" in Wikipedia, the first refered topic would surprises you.
Its "Friends : an American situation comedy". Surprising? Surprising to me too. When looked under the "Friends (disambiguation)" section, the only closest thing you have is "friendship".
And most of those things under that column is mostly bullshit concening to the term "Friends".

Why else do they teach or tell you about Declining of a Friendship!

ITs bullshit.

What i felt sad about, is that when it comes to friendships now adays, its not as "pure" as what it is in the past after all. Like what kiat kai said, besides the computer which will not betray him, but just gives some errors, everyday's interaction with others is a close combat of whether you will get something bad coming back to you or not. Its not a nice thing issint it?

Its being manipluated, twisted, altered to suit to someone's favour, but at someone's disfavour. And this does not change, it turns to tyrany and soon evolved to Slavery. Why does this happend? When someone keeps demanding in the name of "Friendship". Personally i belive that there should be a Give and take policy all the time. But its a "Give" when you can and never expect when to "Take". Why expect? Let it comes as a surprise, issint that even greater than knowing it coming?

Its always like this, that people wish others to do nice things for them, but never helping others back. If someone offers to help, but cant help all the way, give that guy some credit, he tried to help but cant thats all, but why the rent?

"That fool tried to help, but his just a piece of stool infront of it after all, speaking of help he should just STFU in the first place."

Thats what people always get, instead. Sad truth, sad Reality, Sad face of fact everyone has to face throught.

With the internet growing like this days, soon people will interact less and lesser. Till the point where soon no one goes on the street, no one whispers a good luck around to those around them, no one blessing someone when sneezing, no more warmth. The city will be dead, and those emotions will only be expressed online, where only "Un-Real" relationships, across people who fight on games while each aims for their own piece of item which they will take after getting it, and signing off to avoid those who partied with him for it. Across people whom give other players because other "Female" players asked for it, and some suckers just send their own treasure vault up for them, never knowing if they are female in real life at first. The most common Emotion seen will be Anger, Shooting and Flaming with almost every vulgrities they can muster and also more and more emots and macros which could replace the whole of English lanuage to be surfaced.

This is what this world will turn out to be, if all of us should follow this way.

With all those backstabbing and throttling of faith and trust

With all those who take and never give

with all those who lies and cheats they way out

I have nothing much about them as compared to my own situation of Social Circle.

My social circle has always being easy to figure out.

Secondary School Friends, Poly Friends, Online Friends, Workplace Friends, My family.

ITs all of them, which i do care, My life has never being a dull with them around, which contributed to my personality as of now. Even thought there will be people who hate me, i will always have friends to standby me. Even thought they might be busy, but they are still there, as they recognise and acknowledge me as their friend, I will too do my best, to be your friend.

Last, this shall be a song, which lingers long enough in my trusty zen, which kinda remind me of my feelings in the past, during special occasions. Enjoy, for those who read this.

A Drop of Tenderness

Uverworld

===================================================================

I thought that even though sometimes
Our feelings didn't match up, the end would never come
But now you're gone
The thread is cut off
No matter how loud I yell, I can't go back there

Even if I love the times
We walk along together holding hands
The closer we get to our dreams, the further apart we become
We said
It was so we could each make our dreams come true

Yo, listen to me
I found a drip in my heart
And I called it "forever"
Oh, it's fake and An inviting word, in other words
Crack in the middle of that passion
Because 'cause I want you

Live alone, live alone, live alone

You always Were able to spot me just from seeing my back
As I walked through a crowd of people
But now you don't even realize "you seem so far away"
Though you're passing right by me

The small words that wounded you
Now make such a painful sound
A drop of tenderness, the last drop
It hits me, dark red like blood

You chose to live alone
So you wouldn't hurt or get hurt
Even when my heart can forgive
It's all just unskilled lies

Live alone, live alone, live alone

I kept thinking
That even though our feelings never matched up
The end would never come
I'll carve it on my heart
This drop that washes away
No matter how loud I yell, I can't go back there

You always
Were able to spot me just from seeing my back
As I walked through a crowd of people
But now you don't even realize that I'm standing right in front of you
Though you're passing right by me

(I can't go back)
Now I can hear
Those words you almost said that day
"I'm in you"

(You've got a place in me, that's forever)

I hold on to the same words
So they don't disappear

Something more than words that won't disappear, more than words ah
Something more than words that won't disappear, more than words ah

More than words
===================================================================

有时总觉得，朋友之间，还是花点时间给自己一个人静静的放松一下。。。。

我不知所措的想法

2007-07-10T02:25:00.000+08:00

这则文章将会是一封对我自己内心的告白信，但会不会离题，那就得看我的心情了。
不知为什么，最近在我脑海里被很多事情轰炸，使我很容易分心。总觉得我又犯了什么错，忘了什么，或又得罪了谁。总觉的混身不自在，又不知道原因何在，只能把这些来路不明的烦恼抛至一旁，但这么做使到我觉得越来越多东西还没办妥。肩膀上重了使多。我唯一想到的办法就是把它们一篇一篇的，写在这部落各上。让我把它们一一的解决，好让我能不被它们拖住。

现在的我，只能说是过一天，算一天。为什么会变成这么样子呢？那是因为每天，不管我在干什么，我都有心无力，想做的东西多的事，但真正在作时却不想做了。而且是什么都不想做的情形，我也很呐闷我从几而时变成这幅德兴。我总觉得在家里，每一次，当我妈和我姐大吵一架时，我能做到的只是看她们吵架，什么也作不到。不管我是多么的想阻止，不管我多么的想闭上她们的嘴。我都做不到。

突然之间，我觉得我真像个废物。我无能为力，什么都做不到，唯一作得到的之是走开或者把电脑的声音提高，试着逃避现实。况且，这是一件我每次一碰到不顺的事情时所作的第一件事，或当我心痛时，我总是在逃避，就算我拚了命的使用我的意志力的控制，我还是会逃，逃到我的世界里。我觉得我本身是一个无可救药的人，所以我重来不喜欢朋友这么容易放弃，因为我觉得他们至少不会像我这么没出息。

每一次，当我一想到我自己不管做什么事都失败是，我就什么都不想做。我最近越来越自暴自弃，脾气也越来越坏，自要我一觉得事情不顺我预定的想法时，我就很生气。就算是情过去后，我也会耿耿于怀，应为我不知为什么我会着么堕落，我试着自我反省过，但看来这都没用。有时我不明白为什么我会这么样子，而我不管这么样都觉得我还是一样的自己。一个永远不会长大和成熟的男人，就算外表变了，我觉得我的内心还是这么的幼稚。

从以前我就觉得，人，只要敢，什么都能做得到。但我以学到了，这只是一种上一辈人的想法。在这个时代，人已变迁，人性也一样的，被这新时代个毒害了心。现代人以不想从前，以礼相待，而是先礼后兵的方法对付其它人。但是我还是觉得用从前的方法比较好，使得我以前其中一个同事说过我是个‘古代人’。到现在我才明白为什么他会这么称呼我，应为有时很多人已为我是个很天真的人。

但是没有，趁今每有一个能真正了解我是个什么人。应为我是个多重形态的一个人。在工作上，在家庭了，在朋友当中和与心仪的人在一起时，我都是不一样的。我本身也不清楚为什么我是这样子，有可能是应为这是我自我报护自己的方法把。从小我就很会找借口，不管是什么麻烦我都会尽量的找。我很怕麻烦，因为从小就吃藤条长大的我很不喜欢，但是我却是每次把麻烦惹上身。

现在已经过了凌晨一点，但我丝毫没有一丝睡意。到头来最大的一个烦恼总归是感情之事。总觉得，做工场所不像以前一样，就算是一样的地方，一样的空气，一样的摆设。到头来，硬撑的人还是我。我一直在欺骗自己，告诉我自己她在不在都一样，告诉我自己她不在顶多只是少了一个每天看见我时称呼我为‘男朋友’，我称呼她‘女朋友’的一个工作伙伴。但是，就算我告诉我这只不过是和一前一样，我改不了一件实事。那就是我对她产生了真的感情。我撤撤地地的爱上了她。

她是我第一个，面对面的告白的对象。也是我第一个在我做工厂所表白的对象。就算当时她只是把我当成一个玩伴，一个她能随时想逗得人，我也不希罕被她玩，应为我相信只要我不放弃，我还是有机会的。就算这种能成功的例子我也只在爱情漫画或小说上读得到，我也不想放弃。应为这是我现在为一的梦想了。

说实在的，我还是不知道我究竟以后想做些什么。我暂时什么目标或梦想都没有，连就算以后要着么扛起家里的金钱负坦也暂时也没有什么着落。

说是在的，我看就在这里停一停先。否则明天又要睡过头了。

Whats Wrong With Me

2007-06-23T20:03:00.000+08:00

Its being a while i guess. And ever since the CT over and Holidays come i have being just working non stop. Althought Its not ranting bout work again. But its what i have felt, and experienced. From where i worked.

I could say its the first time i have done something so daring, and something which i normally constrain myself not to do at all. But i believe that since there is not much time left i better get it over and done with then to regret it later.

But ended up just like the other times. I broke the only connection. Failed to reliased that since the start i am merely nothing more than what it is. Sometimes i have to blame myself for not maturing enough to face this part of the society.

I take it to the fact that i am too rash, sometimes too impatient about this things.

It really pains me off, not due to failure but the fact that i never learn my lessons from the pervious encounters. Really wicked enough.

Still after much talk with people, Its part of my learning up, looking at the calender. My last moments as an 18 Year old is stepping into a closing curtain soon. Maybe its bye bye to childhood and hello to adult hood already.

Life being bored. But ill just post up this few pictures taken this few days.

~ Eternal Wing ~ |悠久の翼|

2007-06-06T19:44:00.000+08:00

/===Kanji Version===/
/===================================================================/
/===悠久の翼===/
/===歌：原田ひとみ===/
/===作詞：酒井神和===/
/===作編曲：天門===/

遠く空　窓の向こう
届かない　雲見ていた

壊れてく　心癒す
優しい音　聞こえた

てのひら零れ落ちる　夢の欠片
無くした答え探すため　走り出す

めぐりあう時を越え
二つの手　重なる

甦る想い出を
この胸に抱いて

忘れた　背中探す
寂しさを　終わりにして

信じてる　でも不安で
あなたの声　夢見た

傷つく事を恐れ　作る笑顔
壊せる勇気紡ぎだす　二人なら

凍てついた痛みさえ
ぬくもりに変えれば

鐘の音は　鳴り響く
果てしない　未来に

舞い上がれ　空高く
翼など　無くても

/==================================================================/
/===Romanji Version===/
/==================================================================/

Tooku sora mado no mukou
Todokanai kumo miteita

Kowareteku kokoro iyasu
Yasashii oto kikoeta

Te no hira koboreochiru yume no kakera
Nakushita kotae sagasu tame hashiridasu

Meguriau toki wo koe
Futatsu no te kasanaru

Yomigaeru omoide wo
Kono mune ni daite

Wasureta senaka sagasu
Samishisa wo owari ni shite

Shinjiteru demo fuan de
Anata no koe yume mita

Kizutsuku koto wo osore tsukuru egao
Kowaseru yuuki tsumugidasu futari nara

Itetsuita itami sae
Nukumori ni kaereba

Kane no ne wa nari hibiku
Hateshinai mirai ni

Maiagare sora takaku
Tsubasa nado nakutemo

/==================================================================/
/===English Translated Version===/
/==================================================================/
/===Yuukyuu no Tsubasa (Eternal Wing)===/
/===Vocal: Harada Hitomi===/
In the distant sky beyond the window,
I saw clouds which I could not reach.

I heard a gentle voice
That heals my breaking heart.

The fragments of a dream spill from my hand.
To find the answer I have lost, I break into a run.

Across the times we are reunited,
With my hands

I hold dear in my heart
These recurring memories.

I search for the figure I have forgotten,
So that I may put an end to this loneliness.

I believe in it – but it is with unease
That I heard your voice in a dream.

Afraid of getting hurt, I put on a smile.
The courage to surmount our difficulties will grow, if we’re together.

If only I could change
This frozen pain into warmth…

The sound of the bell reverberates,
Into the future that knows no end.

Soar up high into the sky,Even if there are no wings to do it with

/==================================================================/

Credits to KonoeKonoka for his work on the Kanji and the Translation. Romaji Version from AnimeLyricsdotcom.

Enjoy

ef - a fairy tale of two

2007-06-03T23:35:00.000+08:00

I have to say. That this, strikes me again hard.

Not to be saying like as if its the same as what i have felt in "Ichigo 100%". But more rather. This thing had a bigger impact on me.

"ef - a fairy tale of two"
is a Visual Novel done by the "Minori" Company (Its a Visual Novel/ Eroge Company)
To be exact, you could call this a typical 'H' Game. But trust me, just judging it from its catagory is a BIG mistake to make. Because few of this titles, there are fantastic stories which cannot be brought out when shifted to an anime platform. And even if it contains 'H' , most of this scenes when about to be shown, they will seek the player to skip the part or continue it. Pefect for people who goes for the story line instead of mindless 'H' Scene viewers.

The reason why i wanted to talk about it, was because of its story, currently finished the First Chapter of the game. Which concludes the story of Miyako Miyamura and Hiro Hirono.

What you could tell from this game typically is that it is in a "High School" background Love Story. With stunning Graphics and also nice Voice Work. But what really is worth me running around screaming "URG" is the storyline.

Its not your typical lovu lovu storyline. But instead its more of trying to find, what is the important thing to you in your life. As quoted in game

'No matter how much you treasure her, people will vanish one day. Even with countless prayers of hopes, there will never be Eternity.
Having joy with the person you treasure the most, even when painful things happen it will feel real. After that, it will dissappear, with a speed that you can never catch up.
For the sake of not regretting at the moment of parting ways, please give her the piorities, trutly piority her first.'

*======Updates======*
Was looping the Op 'Eternal Feather' today since i step out of the house, till now mugging for TP in the school Library. Appreantly, while listening i have figure out most of the things which was covered in the first Arc.

'When you have sieze of what you wanted, you will be forced, even if you do not want it to. To lose what you have being treasuring till now.'

'Its because when you choose freedom, you are not bounded. But as your not bounded to anything. You lose what others call "Home", and have to be all by yourself. Alone.'

'Do not hate yourself, but because hating yourself will just make you stop in your tracks, never moving forward.'

To me, the most important i found out is.

'What is it that you dream of'

As i listen to the song, what it feels like telling me, is as of what i said above. I reliased, that i have no obvious dream, nor goal which I am working myself forward to. As a result, what i am merely doing is living life off as how it is. Just like Kei, as an empty shell which stays and not moving. But as it is an empty shell, I am given a chance to rebirth. To aim for another Goal, another Dream.

I have no Dreams, nor Goal for me to work to. But i have reliase too, that the easiest way, is to focus on where i am always at, the 2 other place which i can call myself at home, instead of being at solitude. Which is School and my Work place.

From Encounters, there you gain experience, as you gain experience, you will come to reliase that there are different things you want in life, and from there. Using those hard earned Experience, you get to choose. What is the Goal that you wanted to aim for.

I hope, that its not late now. For me to start, looking around, where I can have a chance to knock in to my Goal, my dream which i will spend the rest of my life pursueing for. Maybe. By then I could be really what i wanted. A more matured self. Rather than the me who is still greifing over my own Childish past, the past which haunts me non stop.

*==========End of Update=====*

Not to forget, the Op of this game just RKWS.

Enjoy. For the Fairy Tales which lies in this world.

Life Goes On

2007-05-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

Today, I felt that, I must do a post on what happened.

I felt Initially irritated today. As I am suppose to meet my friend to go to the PC Show. but when i arrive at the meeting point late, i found them missing. I tried finding them, but with my phone cut off the connection, it makes life hell.

I tried to ask for Coin Phone, but guess its not easy at a place like Pasir Panjang.
I wanted to borrow phones from strangers. But it would be tough as my looks possibily will led them into suspicion (-_-)

When they called, was when i was actually irritated and felt like going home.

He informed that his at China Town Square. So i went over to meet up

Reason?

While 1 guy meet up the other one, his Dad was just nice on the way to chinatown. So they took a ride down there. And since he thought that my phone was 'Spoilt' (as per my mistake in convying the message to him the day before) so he called my mum.

Never the less, it was resolved and we went to the PC Show.

Those were not the important points.
What is important is, I felt that, when never i am with them again, i felt like we never change. Or more rather we never change how we are towards each other.

Not like now in poly, where we have to deal with different person differently. We do not need to do that, no facade between us, no hiding of truth between us, but rather how we are together since the past till now.

This is what i felt good. And what keeps my spirits high.

To be exact i owe them last time, for the enjoyable times i have in Secondary School. As I am not that welcomed in class, I have to seek friends out of class most of the time. And there i have them to accompany them.

It feels nice, when you can shake down all your protection, and just be yourself sometimes. Without the fear for backstabs.

Personally i hate Backstabs and also People who Tua me. Thats what drives me mad the most.

And when i heard this song, i felt that. Life is just like that, You have to move on, with what you have. Sometimes going back, but still moving on.

Happy times comes, Sad time comes, Stress Time comes, Problems Comes. But still, Life Goes on.

===================================================================
Name : Live Goes On
Artist : Mika Arisaka
Lyrics

Every time I look up into the tear-filled sky,
A fickle wave of blue binds my chest.
If it's destiny,
I will leave behind the days
That I've fought till the end of sorrow.

Life Goes On, passionately.
As long as I am alive,
Even if I were to lose sight of my real self,
Life Goes On,
I want to protect it.
My heart was shattered,
And in these eyes that have seen true sorrow,
Love is overflowing.

The flowers that bloom in winter paints a misty landscape.
"Strength is tenderness" I sang.
For what and for who
Do you continue to fight for now?

Life Goes On, be reborn.
If we unknowing meet again,
I don't want to lose you a second time, butLife Goes On.
In this era,
As long as I am given life,
I catch it with these arms and this chest.
Believe in love.

I can feel your heart in motion,
deep down in your mind and passion.
Life goes on and on, we love each other in the sadness of time.

Life Goes On, passionately.
As long as I am alive,
I want to share this light with you again someday.
Life Goes On,
I want to protect it.
Send your prayers towards the sky.
In these eyes that have seen true sorrow,
Love is overflowing.

====================================================================
Credits - Gendou

Messy Thoughts

2007-05-30T01:55:00.000+08:00

Its 1.56Am shown on my Com. I haven sleep yet, and i do not feel sleepy yet.

I have being spundgling myself on NOTDAM. Just some WC3:FT Custom Map and i have kinda find it ok enough for me to go on for a while.

But the thing i reliased is that soon things just get bored.

I choose to go home early now adays.

I choose to Cook more then buy out.

I choose to stay indoors except work.

I guess i am just getting lazy now. =

Work has being tedious, but fun still. School has being a place where my money goes to all the time. IRC eats up my social life, by replacing itself as it. Seems sad. But i do not seem to be irk of it yet.

Bjorn - Not i do not want to link you up. But rather this is my personal blog and i keep clear off my 2 Different Online Life. I do not like mixing, Messing it up is something i would try to avoid.

But seriously. With the things going on now. I guess i am slowly stepping down and stop watching shows. Starhub seems to be my best friend again. Msn is my enemy (POP UPS!) and Lancraft is getting better. uTorrent can start rotting, and i better sleep now before my mother reach home to start nagging.

Life is like.... Not Fair?

2007-05-28T01:47:00.000+08:00

Today has got to be the day where my Brain went crazy during morning, recovered during noon, and go nuts in the evening and dead by now.

Was irritated with my headset this morning, its not working normally. Until i manage to temperory fix it for the time being. God Grace me, I haven had the extra $$ to go get myself a new high end one. Till then please keep this alive '_'

Was totally pissed off with the India Indian Family which came over since sat. Irritating Fucking Mother Bastards. Came late, expect us to serve them, take any table they like and make a fucking mess (not fogetting the floor) and leave. Good Job

Ever wonder if they reliased that, when they go to a 4 - 6 Star Hotel for Stayover, and when having Breakfast, they are pratically representing their whole country in respect. As if its a Mini-UN meeting. Other people from other countries are normally present. Won't They ever find that when they do not pratice good table manners, they are throwing their country's face away? Good Job done there.

And was Also irritated with the fact that I am always lossing my temper this days. Too much stress ill attribute to it. But not interested in dwelling on stress origin. Makes more stress than trying to reduce them. But throught this 2 days of working i was thinking.

Is this world Fair?

I once read off books

"The World is Unfair to begin with, The reason why God does it is so that Humans can fill up the Unfairness with their Love"

But appreantly, when i was thinking throught from most experience, its not really true for most case.

(I am now taking on a pespective of a Christian)

The reason why God might have initiated the Flood in the first place, was maybe because he found out that humans are beings which make use of their advantage over others, to favor them in every way they can. Making use of such Advantage given to them, in an Abusing way.

True to it, we can see that its how this world operates now. All by the means of manipulating one and other to get jobs done. Be it legally or Illegally.

A company gets famous, sells more stock when its product is good. But we do not say that the Creator of that Product, but the company.

A Loan Shark forces a Person in debt under him to sell his Daughter for Prostitution.

Both case we can see that its like that, when 1 is at an advantage there must be someone be in a Disadvantage. Seems like a vicious Cycle.

Guess ill just Rubbish till now.

Else ill just overslept FCS again. For the Third time.

Given Up

2007-05-26T06:38:00.000+08:00

Title : Given Up
=====================================================================
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like i'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worse enemy

I've Given Up
I'm Sick of Living
Is there Nothing you can Say
Take This All Away
I'm Suffocating
Tell me what the Fuck is wrong with me

I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused but I'm Scared
I'm not prepared
I Hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow somewhere
and You don't Care

Put me out of my Misery

====================================================================

I just felt like, putting it out, about how i just feel like giving up. Its not something i can say is proud of, coz giving up in the first place means i am a loser already. But situation was clear after all. That its a matter of whether the self reject the truth or the truth gets it on the self on it. I decide to face the reality of the truth and take it on behalf of what i am no able to cope with all the time. Thats it.

StarCraft II =/= Hoax!

2007-05-19T22:41:00.000+08:00

Its true now, Starcraft II is now in production, God Preys they dont make it end up like Ghost.

Click here to go to the Site

I Live for Aiur!

Valentine's Day

2007-05-18T02:02:00.000+08:00

Title - Valentine's Day
=====================================================================
My insides all turned to ash / so slow
and blew away as i collapsed / so cold
a black wind took them away / from sight
and held the darkness over day / that night

and the clouds above move closer
looking so dissatisfied
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

i used to be my own protection / but not now
cause my path had lost direction / somehow
a black wind took you away / from sight
and held the darkness over day / that night

and the clouds above move closer
looking so dissatisfied
and the ground below grew colder
as they put you down inside
but the heartless wind kept blowing, blowing

so now you're gone
and i was wrong
i never knew what it was like
to be alone

on a valentine's day

====================================================================
Side notes :
Althought it was finished at the Laurel Studio, "Valentine's Day" retains most of the original music and vocals that were recorded during the writing phase. Infact, althought the band experiment with re-recording most of their early demos, the earliset recordings were often chosen to make the album.
====================================================================

This is another song, from 'Minutes to Midnight" which i favor.

I am starting to get use to the singing style, more rather, removing the japanese song listening habit all the time.

What I've Done Part 2

2007-05-16T02:54:00.000+08:00

By : Linkin Park

Title: What I've Done

In this farewell
there's no blood
there's no alibi
cause i've drawn regret
from the truth
of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
and wash away

What I've Done
i'll face myself
to cross out what i've become
erase myself
and let go of what i've done

put to rest
what you have thought of me
while i've cleaned this slate
with the hands
of uncertainty

so let mercy come
and wash away

what i've done
i'll face myself
to cross out what i've become
erase myself
and let go of what i've done

for what i've done
i start again
and whatever pain may come
today this ends
i'm forgiving what i've done

i'll face myself
to cross out what i've become
erase myself
and let go of what i've done

What i've Done

Forgiving What i've done

===================================================================

Just feel like Posting about the lyrics of 'What I've Done' . Since its one of the most well known of this long awated album. Will soon be posting about 'Bleed It Out' and 'Given Up'.
===================================================================
Side Notes:

One of the last song finished for the album, the lyrics for this song were intended to work on many levels, including freedom, art, and death metaphors.

===================================================================

Its being long since i heard of Linkin Park's Crew. Mainly Chester's Screaming (lawl).
Althought this album feels abit wierd (due to the naming issue) but over all, once settled down for their singins style, it gets catchy.

To me, this album came at the right time. To me Linkin Park Tracks use to be my 'self checking' songs, mainly because that the songs they sang ring with my internally well, more like as if i am facing a mirror and watching myself from the song.

it also bought out the fear of the past hauntings on me.....

What I've Done

2007-05-15T01:54:00.000+08:00

Its easy for the title to tell, yes i have bought the newest album of Linkin Park.

Minutes to Midnight.

But my aim is rather, a dedication of this song to Lemon.

Even thought she might not like Punk Rock or maybe Linkin Park but this song might suit your feelings on your post at May 14th.

Althought i prefer Given Up more.

But i felt that the song names are abit jumbled up. Either there is a hidden meaning to this or i am not sure bout it.

well, for now enjoy with it then.

~Linkin Park - What I've Done MV~

Enjoy.

慢慢

2007-05-13T17:54:00.000+08:00

I do not just listen to Japanese Songs, but rather Chinese Songs too. But more rather, songs of an older generation than now. Althought not as backwards in time as compared to those that Kiat Kai listens to.

慢慢, is one of those songs i like to listen to. I remember buying this album after O's. When i still do not have a computer and just a CD Player. I use to buy CD's once every other week after collecting pay.

I do not need to explain about this song i guess, just listen to it and enjoy.

Kuroi Namida (黒い涙 Black Tears)

2007-05-01T19:34:00.000+08:00

The big thing, Kuroi Namida (黒い涙 Black Tears). By Anna Tsuchiya.

Why is this a big thing? Its because its one of my favourite songs out of all the songs from the animated series of "Nana".

This song talks about broken love, which resulted in the withdrawal of feelings of all things related around. It talks about how one would not want to be hurt any more with
"I don't want things that can be broken anymore".

"I need something to keep on living
If I can't even believe in myself, what can I believe in?
The answer is so close I can't even see it"

How 1 felt lost when being abandoned by the most trusted for his/her life,
and also the fact that even if the solution is obvious, he/her will not belive it and is thus unable to "see" it.

Althought I liked it for its emoness, my friend said that its too shoujou. But ill let the listeners to tell themself, if this is good or not, even if its too shoujou.

Moasic Kakera

2007-04-28T00:06:00.000+08:00

Was skimming throught my usual playlist, and felt that "Mosaic Kakera" is worth spreading, not because i fanboy "Code Geass", rather i really love the song's meaning.

The band that sang this is "SunSet_Swish" , They were well known for their smooth singing, swooping over the verbals nicely. The last song which was another hit was "My Pace". An Ending for the other animated series "Bleach".

while listening to this song, i felt that i was thinking of someone in past, while i feel that its a time where i was childish during then.
As this song unfolds, it felt to me that its like, a telling of my story then, and now. Of the same mistakes i am repeating, no matter how much i am saying i am changin. But after all, i might just do the same thing, by dissappearing from their lifes, while i "try gathering up the dreams again", and start another encounter. Maybe this is my last, maybe it will not.

I want to be Stronger

2007-04-24T22:32:00.000+08:00

Its another song again.

This song, "Tsuyoku Naritai", has being a song which i very frequentlysince i accuire it (Dont ask me how, ain't gonna tell). Its sang By Hirai Ken, I would say, A Sentimental Singer. Songs which i have taken a liking including "Pop Star", "Bye My Melody" and more.

This song itself, in English Translation means "I want to be Stronger". But, for who?
In the lyrics it dipicts a man singing, to be stronger as to give the other half in his life with more love. While not showing his weakness infront of her, as he is like a support to her.

It revolves the life of a burdened lovers, who share the burden while in love, sharing the pain and joy each carry with he or she. While the man try to grow stronger to shed off the burden off both of their shoulder.

This is a nice, touching song. Simple to enjoy the feeling convyed with the voice of Hirai Ken, and feel the touch of melody with emotion.

Shakugan no Shana <3

2007-04-21T09:28:00.000+08:00

I was browsing throught my playlist again and nothing surprises to you readers happen again, I'm hooked on a new song. "Yowake Umare Kuru Shoujo" by Yoko Takahashi (Click on the Hyper link for the details of the lyrics and also the Singer).

What surprises me is that this is the singer which sang "Cruel Angel Thesis", "Aoki Flame". No wonder the voical sound familar.... Its a refound <3

Shakugan no Shana is a fantasy theme anime which features a girl who has no name, she is just known as a 'Flame Haze' who hunts down the 'Guze no Tomogara' who is using powers of existances of humans for fullfilling their own use throught the conjuring of 'Unrestricted Method'.

While the powers of existance is human's existance, once drawn will cause the human to cease existance, not just dissappear, but also the memories and record of such person in people who have came contact with the person before. Such sudden removal of human's existance will cause the 'balance' of world's existance to suffer a heavy setback, such that the ones who governs over this 'balance' send flame haze, whom made a contract with them for their respective powers to draw from their powers to battle with the 'Guze no Tomogara'.

What they do is that when a human has his/her existance drawn away by either the 'Guze no Tomogara' or their servants who feed on this powers, the 'Rinne', the flame haze will use what ever is remained to fix the surrounding. As the battle is conducted in an enclosed dimention name the 'Fuzetsu'.

It encloses the battle area, in which only the 'Flame Haze', 'Rinne', 'Guze no Tomogara' or special human name 'torches'(more to this will come) can move freely, but normal human beings will become freezed in time. Damage can still be done, so does the drawing of existance from normal human. Thus human who died this way, when replaced with a dimishing amount of Power of Existance, will become 'torches'

What 'torches' does is that it reduces the drop of the 'balance' uphold by the 'Lords of Crimson Realm' as it acts as a cusion which slowly allows the 'scale' to drop and not in a large scale.

While 'torches' are just 'torches', there are some special ones are the 'Mystes', they are normal 'torches' with a special magical objects call 'Hougou' or 'Unrestricted Methods'.

One such example is the main character, Yuji Sakai who is a 'Mystes' with the 'Hougou' name "Reiji Maigo" which replenishes the user's power of existance to full when midnight strike.

The main story revolves around Shana, the Flame haze titled "Slayer with Flaming Hair and Blazing Eyes", her name came from her sword "Nietono no Shana". It was given to her by Yuji when he felt that she should have a normal name instead of a title.

Yuji Sakai who tragically turned into a 'torch' without his own notice, but thanks to the 'Hougou' "Reiji Maigo", his able to keep his existance as a 'Mystes' till now. His fateful encounter with shana bring about the start of his epic adventure in his own self battle of existing or inexistance with the fate of his town, along with his friends in school all involved. This show is on an average setting but it really can make you glue to the screen, be it the battle between the 'Flame Haze' and the 'Guze no Tomogara', or just the Tsundere'ness of Shana going "Urusai".

An Ova for this show is boardcasting soon and a second season is in the production phrase, I'll look forward for the releases. <3

for now enjoy:

Shana loves Melon-Pan, Find 1 at the Bakery at B2 of Takashimaya!

Lost >

2007-04-19T00:05:00.000+08:00

My laptop was down. If i would be strict with the timing it'll be less than 1 day as its down on Sunday at 3.40 pm + at my friend's house. Althought one of my other friend tried to rescure it but the booting sector is corrupted, its hopeless unless i reformat it.I tried backing up with his help, but half way it finally gived its last spin of chance (Breath). Its officially dead by evening at 6.00 pm at Orchard Library.Even thought partial of my important data was retrived (thought he was saying that the data was like the most irrevelant.), most of my other data which is in my Drive C, aka my pictures folder and handphone video was all lost. Forever as i do not seem to have a back up for most of them any where else (when i check my photobucket later on i reliased that its only 1/3 of my collection)Even thought its my photos of some Secondary School Life, Poly classmates outing photos, no matter how recent or far back it may seem, its still part of my life story nonetheless.It felt awkard about loosing it as it seem to be a chunk of this recent few years.
I lost the drivers for all my external devices, althought media source is easily obtained, my Samsung Handphone To Pc suit software and driver is no where to be found and i haven take time to look for it on the net. Even my precious kept wall papers plus own made wall papers also were lost. I never knew how lossing data is like to me and espically data which cannot be easily replaced. While my music is saftly kept in my zen. My old ripped CD's like Jay Chou, Linkin Park, Jacky Cheung, Zhang Xin Ze, F.I.R and afew moreChinese and English album rips were also lost. Which i have misplaced the CD's too.
While loosing this things and getting what i call a "Cleaner" Laptop now (Replaced new HDD), its like starting again, on a route of collection backwards. And shuffling music has awaken me to another piece of song yet lost forgotten in my heavy playlistin the Zen. -Recorded Butterfly- By Olivia. As usual, Olivia songs pull out the feelings which i have always not being having till the moment which its at its perk.While listening to this 'Shoujou' Songs, even if its very "dumb and boring" as described by one of my female friend, but to me, even if your not part of the story told throught this song, you can feel the bitterness, sourness and sadness brought out together, with the unison of the music, lyrics and tone of the singer. Even if you are not related to it in situation, there is a tiny feeling upon you that makes you take on those feelings.
Part of this lyrics, "Stay with me tonight" triggers those indept feelings. Even thought it felt hollow there now.

===================================================================

When i am more in the mood i will be releasing my new project on WC3 soon.

I HAVE SINED!!!

2007-04-11T21:22:00.000+08:00

Omg... I have done it... Really Done it... OH GOD HELP ME!!!!! How do i undone this? Oh well whats done is done. Just let it be...

Nostalgica

2007-04-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

Number 23, Obsession with numbers, something strange. Wierd Stuff.

Those were what i thought when i watch the movie earlier on with a crowed, its strange how human could be twisted in their mind. However its the mere fact of how fragile a human mind is.
Just as a saying goes, "The more complicated a being is, the more failure chances it will have."

Humans keep themself save by finding dependencies. Parents always have their mind set of their kids taking care of them when old, Subodinates depends on their leaders for instruction, Students depend on their teachers for information. It all revolves on depending on another.

When however, the depended source shatters, the beings which attach themself towards this sources always crumbles with them, either beliving that its not real or putting a facade of what is happening. Running from reality is the truth for most case.

Thus introduced the term God. Human depends on this Spiritual Beings for Support in the mind and also emotional comfort. While doing so humans found out that they will not be betrayed, as God is always there for them. It has proven so for the times when humanity has strived.

And when flaming starts, it always end up with war of Crusade, people fighting for what they belived in. I do agree that it is good to fight for what you belive in. But when things cannot come to a peaceful settlement i guess all is redundant.

The above was not meant for any insult or injury to any religion, its just a personal feeling on what i have came to a conclusion of thinking.

Its being exactly 1 month since i last posted, if i were to say its more rather that the holidays i am busy working, after CNY at Scz Chuan its Odex, and now back to PMC. Roughly the same things going on. And its picture Spree again.

Haven being to the airport for long, looks nicely renovated but with a few places still being the same to me. Its being 7 years since i last visited this place. Speaking of which i migh be going hong kong during aug. Its the first time for me to leave the SEA Region in my life time.

Picutre of my house area again, still looks the same way it is.

Last day of work at ODEX brought me to walk around, taking random shots of places i can see around the building. Its my frequently done traits to just stare at far and continue staring.

How 1 look like when told that today is the last day of work.

Comics Connection Warehouse, next time i am coming here for my mass shopping!

Time, time, TIME
TIME, Time, time

Connects the future with the past
With what happends in the past lead to the future
while what happends in the future leads to a trigger in the past
What if
Time
TIME
time
is to stop
round up in tracks
and pause for a break
will we know
will anyone know

Time,TIME,time
time,Time,TIME

This is a promised post to 1 of the reader, Lemon. Enjoy it like how i have done to bin's.

I am the offspring of the tree
Pulps are my body and Cirtus Acid is my blood
I have twisted many faces
Unknown to Lemon Tea nor known to Lemonade
Have withstood sourness to create many lemons
Yet those hands will never touch any lemon
So as i pray.
"UNLIMITED LEMON WORKS"

and hence the invation of lemons....

While doing so, i am looping the music "Mosaic Kakera". Try listening to it, the translation is there on the hyperlink. I'll be hosting it up soon on weblog. Enjoy it when its up.

New work enviroment

2007-03-10T22:59:00.001+08:00

Well i've being working at a new place for now.
Its call Odex Pte Ltd.

The anime distribution company in singapore. Following are some shots of the place.

the office at 25th floor

the above are shots of the warehouse where the things are kept at.

for now theres not much that is being done, thus nothing interesting to speak of.

Special shot at IT FAIR 2007 - IS IT "LEMON - FUN EVERYWHERE" or "LEMON - RUN EVERYWHERE" ?

Sora

2007-03-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

For people who see this, u can guess what is the title means. It means "sky" in japanese. I have a habit of taking photos of the sky, im tending to be lesser and lazier to type long post now since i am rather nt interested in getting down on long and meaningful post. It relates to me. I cant stand doing things over a long period. It makes me inconsistance due to my nature of inconsistance. Ill rather put it this way.

"A picture means a thousand words."

If u can read the words it has, means u understand me enough.

Slice of My Life - Working in Holidays

2007-03-05T01:29:00.000+08:00

I've being busy working at S/C for my past 2 weeks of Holiday, As its CNY and its a Chinese resturant, i placed my booking there for the whole of CNY. Work was fun, and i enjoyed alot of my experiences there. The following are photos taken by my friend.

Its a nice working enviroment, althought work can be hellish at time i must say (X_X)

Below are some shots taken around, nt just at S/C, but also PMC.

Now for one of my friend at work... Zhi Zheng (DIE!)

Hi I like to look Stupid

Because this AS0Hol0 take so long to change!

Stop taking my photos... i know i am Handsome and Single.. (HE IS A GOOD CATCH LADIES! GET IT WHILE STOCK LAST)

Some random Pics i took today while at Marina Square..

To the last day of CNY: Yuan Xiao Jie

A random Picture...

TAIYAKI!

Last but not least... This view give me a glimpsed of what i felt after work every time i worked night shift..

I always felt that, when i see this view. Its like as if the day itself passed before me before i knew it.

its just that, i felt lazy everytime i write. And i felt that Picutres, in a way reflect how i fell now. I am bored or rather dreaded to write, if i write, i know there might be people who will use it against me. its obvious to me that i am being targeted by some bastards which i shall not be mentioning. Its a waste of my time and i really felt that, if life is this way for now, i will just look at it this way. I had enough thought of people kept talking about the different ways of looking at life, what matters now actually is that how u look at it. If u just uses the views of others u can only see it from theirs, which also goes to show that you do not have your own judgement and only relies on other's judgement. Having too much methods also cause a split in your own judgement. I am starting to see things in 1 way and not be interuppted with others. ITs how i take it now that determines what comes out, not what others give in and produce what they wanted. I want it my way.

In Regards to

2007-03-02T00:50:00.000+08:00

I was Insulted, when i heard over the phone this:

"You are the Overall Coordinator, but you are working, this sounds not correct do you know that."

I was really Pissed, Yes you are my lecturer, But Whether i Work or not i guess you dun have to comment on it. If i dun have to work in the first place i would be even happy then now. But If i have to work, And its for myself to live my Poly Life, i belive that you could have understand that its under some special Condition in which I have to be working.

Speaking of that, i am suppose to work with a team, not a dual combo now. It seems that its always hard to get people to do things, and irritating since I have to work for so long and for such a continuos period to earn enough. I dun even go CNY celebration, What go get Ang Bao lar all those, I WAN BUSY WORKING INSTEAD and i get people saying i am damn FUCKING FREE. FOR THE LAST TIME.

I AM NOT FUCKING FREE KTHXBYE CB

As much as i dun like to vent it, i would really want to say that I am already tiring enough, given enough stimulas, anyone could have die from shock and i too can. So while i am not around i need people to carry on my work but no one is (leave kk alone, his also already done alot.)

I dun mean to compose all this kind of post at all, but i am so mentally and physically tired that i just need to vent it out somewhere. If i have the chance ill continue my draft on my Workplace.

In Memories of

2007-02-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

Just got home and showered, while on the way home on the transport after Abu dropped, i had a feeling of wanting to blog about stuff. Well its time to clean up cobwebs around here i guess.

Work has kept me busy, but defitnitely kept me enjoying with what i am doing now. After being working for the past week all the way till today, continuing after this week is at ODEX with Bjorn and Xak, well i guess im going on a crazy cash run now.

I've to say that Working at S/C was fun, even thought at the start its still cold glance and commands all over for me, as things and times follows, and as i start to interact and show efford and commitment in my prospect of my job, i soon got to know my collegues better and ofcourse enjoy working as well.

Its just like getting adapting in a new enviroment, u start out cold, and slowly better. While if u start off the other way round normally u will just kept a low profile not for long. I guess thats the way of how things work. (For me atlease)

Which also reminded me of how i was talking to Abu on the transport home just now. Its being long since i had a trash out session with friends about life, the last one prob was 20 weeks ago on a thursday night at a busstop? LOL thats very long ago.

Plus the issue that happened to me was high, slowly going cold and now quiet down. I guess its not that i have gaved up on bringing over stuff from the past, but rather i feel and decided that i'm slowly going maturing over this days of continuos interaction with people around me.

When working i think alot, as my body starts to take on automatic-motion or aka Schema, my brain is left to be free and able to think while my body can continue working like normal. I think of alot of stuff, which allows me to slowly reliase and do stuff out.

Not to mention the meeting out with the group of people i knew from the cheeze-knight channel. Namly i would like to thank this few people who have being easing me off the tension which i have being receving all the time. Bjorn, Xak, Umehiko, Zelfi, Jinyamato, Eugenics, Timecal. They have being going out all the time and while being with them i can pratically forget about most worries.

Its not like i am running away, i am just unwinding myself after bein g tensed up at work and all those sort. I give my appoligies to KK for delaying stuff and espically now that things are seeming tight on schedule. I will give in my all. I just hope i can get if from some other people whom i do not want to name too.

Well to end this off i'll just introduce a song by Makino Yui, 'Amurita', its a very smoothing song and contains abit of emoish (YES I LURVE EMO SONGS ZOMG), but belive me its nice.

Have Not Forgetten About you - Final Arc

2007-02-07T19:27:00.000+08:00

Fuck whateva thats eating up my time, I need some Break and This study week is Stupid. I still haven shake off the Holiday Mood since Chrismas so FUCK School again for making stupid changes. Looping: Remember Me - LESLIE PARRISH (INITIAL D Best Collection)

C's Mum delivered the Invition personally to L, the location is at a resturant where they used to got for morning tea during weekdays.

"After the Accident, she seems to form a barrier between herself and us the parents. Maybe she wants to leave the family faster to start a new life." She told L.

Even thought he had decided to forget about the issue, but when facing the truth, he still cant hide the eyes which belong to someone whom has lost his love one.

"I hope you understand, we have tried our best."

He took the non-fancy print invition, remembering how he used to asked a friend to design the draft of the Invition, which is at the bottom of the box he have packed.

"Get a hold of yourself, theres still more girls out there. J is a nice girl, i can see that she has special interest on you."

"For the time being---I do not want to talk about relationship." L retorted.

"The invition is just a friendly note, if you do not turn up we can understand that."

Inside the Blood Red invition, a card for pastries is affixed.
No man on Earth will have the appitite to eat the gift of his EX.

"Congratulate them on my behalf."

This is all against his own feelings.

J worries that even after informed of the wedding, L does not have much reactions.

His personality is not those which understands at the first point. As his friend, she can only observe from the side. Its a futile efford to talk him out.

During the weekend evening, J was visiting L as usual, doing his chores, ironing his shirts. But at the Lobby she saw him driving the same type of car as the accident out of the car park in an alarming speed.

J rushed the Taxi Driver to tail that car.

"Please Drive faster, we are losing out!" She kept repeating this to the slow driver.
"Why Did you stop?"
"Its a Red light! Your friend just got himself 3 points deduction for doing that."
It was a pain to wait till the lights turn green, J reconigse the road. Its the same road which the tragedy occured.

What is L thinking?

The location occured at a down slope not far from where she is.

"Miss, your friend has went missing."
"Just drive Straight"
After a minute and a half, loud crashing sounds emitted from the front.
The Driver sub conciously step on the break, the taxi stopped in the middle of the road.

"Don't Stop please, Help!" J almost cried out.

Alas, not far forward, on the same slope, a similar car wreckage was discovered.

J found L whose head was covered in blood, turning towards her saying "I wanted to forget everything as well."

J hugged him close, waiting for the arrivial of the ambulance.

On the morning of C's wedding, in the changing room she found her mother carrying an expression which does not match the term 'happy'.

"Can't bear me leaving already?"
"This issn't the wedding i am looking towards."
"Z is a nice person."
"I know. If only i have two daughters."
C felt that everyone is not giving Z a chance, it is this biasness which increased her love for him.

At the end of the red carpet was a group of off duty police officers, they were here to view the wedding.

Z noticed that C was spacing out, he assured her "Don't you worry, if his here to make trouble, neither will my collegues hold back in giving him one."

C thought L will not be attending, even J was no where to be found.

As the speach was just starting, L walked in big steps, making his appearence.

Z gived a sign, 4 man immidiatly walked towards L, trying to push him outside.

"I have some words for the Bride." L said in a loud voice, breaking the flow of the wedding.

"Do i have to stop?"
C turns towards L in a blood rushed cheek "Yes, what do you want to say?"

"Congratulation, I hope you will forever and ever NOT remember any trace of memories of our relationship."

L left after dropping the talk, leaving behind a pauce of silence.

Its the other party who had lost the memories, L have to accept that no matter what.

Time make him accept it. No matter how stubbon or strong a person is, Time will destory you, if it cant defeat your stubboness, it will kill you.

L used four years plus to washed it off and resume back to normal life.

His living room is still orange, bed room is still dark blue. He has gotten used to it.

On that night, while his reading a catalog for certain new products, the phone at the corner of the table gives off a ear piecing ring.

"Hello"

On the other side of the phone was breath of air taken in large quantity.

"Who is this?"

"I.... I just remembered, remembered everything."
"just now... with the kids.... on the taxi----taxi was being bang by the car in the rear, bang the car did-----i remembered everything."

After those muttering, L heard C crying.

L does not know what to do, J whose lying beside him asked "Who phoned so late?"

L wished he was just dreaming about everything.

=====================================================================================
The End

Ok, this marks the end of my story translation.
For those out there reading, enjoy this last piece.

I rather say, that this story tells apart of how humans are. They forget people's presents easily, just as throwing a piece of paper away.

I personally felt that this is infact of how our society works now. You meet aquitance everyday, you forget them all the time until you need them, just as C did.
It also shows that emotion is stored with memories, thus when memories are invoked we will feel the same emotion as what we feel then.

But unless you have closed yourself, then i belive that you will not feel anything at all.

Have Not Forgetten About You - Part 3

2007-02-02T13:27:00.000+08:00

ok, im back in part 3. Fuck test and exams for making me busy.

"Don't push her too much. The harder you cling to her, the more she detest you." As someone of the same gender, J understoods every aspects of a woman.

"I can't focus during work, not even hitting my quota for this month. But I just cannot relax on any issues with her."

L grab J's hand and pled her. "You're her best friend, please talk to her about it."

J bear with the pain which L admistrated without any complains.

"C has lost the love for you, she have also forgetten our friendship. To us both we cannot recover our relationships with her."

Upon leaving the Cafe, J predicted that L would send her home, as their apartments are just 1 train station apart.

But L stops upon reaching the Train station.

"I am going to see C finish work"
"See?" J felt wierd about him using "See" instead of "Pick up".
"I'm afrid of borthering her, so every night i have being observing her finishing work, take a cab to tail the bus she is taking, ensuring that she returns safe."
"How long have you being carrying this out?"
"Around half a month."
J has got nothing to say to him.

But tonight, C spotted L.

In a rush, L went over and hugged C. He miss holding her in his hands.

C screamed loud outside the mall.

A policeman whom just finish work walk pass, he ordered L to stop but to no avill, he judo throw L towards the ground.

"She is my Fiancee!" L screamed while facing down.

The man asked C "Are you alright?"

C hide behind the man. "I don't want to be disturbed by that man, would you please accompany me back?"

It took not long before the 6 feet tall policeman to answer "Ok, i'll walk you out of this area."
"Don't let me see you following us." He shouted towards L who is still in contact with mother Earth.

C received a feeling of protection from the accompany of the policeman.

Both of them walked for around 10 minutes without any conversation.

"Why---- did you not ask for the reason that man is bugging me?" C asked the 26 year old but still have some baby fats on his cheeks.

"I----" he appreantly looked nervous, "Not used to talk with females alone." Even his facial expression looked stoned.

"I'm C." Compared to L who has being stranggline her with his behaviour, this big but shy man looks more cute in person.

"My name is Z." A very normal name.

From that night onwards L took a further spot to conduct his Survillance.

L saw with his eyes that the 2 of them are getting closer, 2 weeks later on 1 of the nights, C voluterlly holded his hands.

He cannot tolerate with it any more, bearing the chances to kiss the floor again, he heads forward in an attempt to put a stop in their progress.

On the second night the couple leave hand in hand, L stand at the entrance of the mall.

Z came late, C arrived first, after taking a step back, she walk forward to welcome L.

"Sorry, I have a new start."

L was put out of words, he did not expect her to be straight forward about this.

"You gived up everything from the past?"
"Why not you put yourself in my shoes? Until the day i die, if i cannot find back myself but give up on the feelings i have for now. What should i do?"
L bursted. "If we work harder together, i belive that we both can start over again! Why are you refusing of giving me this chance!"
C remained Silence.

Out of coincidence, another of the same model of the car which caused the accident parked infront of them.

L walked forward and pointed at the car."It is this car, remember? You SHOULD REMEMBER!"

The driver stepped out, it was none other than Z.

The answer C replied is "I cannot remember, i can only remember he is my current boyfriend."
"How far?"
Z blushed, and looks at C.
"I have..." She shooked her head, and looked at Z "had reached the stage of making love."
L roared and charge towards Z, using the same throw, L is now in the same position as few nights ago.

He started crying, a big man crying like a small kid who dropped his candy.

Z was in a mess of what to do, C cruely asked Z to go off with her.

Z asked in a low voice "But i haven..."
C interuppted "Are you free tonight?"

L weeped for quite sometime before putting his focus on the crowd around him.

A petrol walked towards him, in a tone mixed of interrograting and comforting him asked
"Are you in some kind of problem? May i take a look at your IC?"

L pulled out his IC from his wallet in the same position.

"Get up, its not nice to lie on the floor i guess."

"Let me just stay like this abit longer."

When someone whose heart has die off, it incurrs several side effects. One of that is to totally ignore anything around him, including his work.

In the end, the result is losing his love and his occupation.

Facing the 2 setbacks, L hides at home everyday, forcing himself to think about what happened before the accident, wishing that he could be back at the time frame of those memories.

Finally feeling better, due to too much thinking, hallucination progresses and the line seperating virtual and reality slowly weakens.

J took a week's worth of leave to accompany him.
"You said that the leave was reserved to go hawaii for vacation. Why are you wasting it now?"

J answered in a twist. "I use to envy the 2 of you."

"How long have you being out of relationship?"

"About 3 to 4 years. Soon you will reliase that being single is not bad after all."

L nodded"I should have treated her as if she is already dead."

If its him who lost the memories, he will also not fall in love with the same person.

He was right in the past, but reality crushed his faith.

"I start to reject the thoughts of past life."
L finally spaced out his stomach for the porrige J cooked.

"Why?"
"If everything is predestinied in the past life, then why there is not a single bit of love after losing the memories?"
"Maybe." J gived it a second of thought before answering "It is predistinied that both of you do not have fate."

L started to look for a new job after staying at home for a few months. He packed all of C's belongings in a box and sealed it.

Before he finds a new job, News of the other party getting married came bombarding.

ok im a bastard, but the next part will be the last chapter of the story. for now try to use ur imagination to see what might become of them. =p

Side Track - Miracles

2007-02-01T11:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, im side tracking this instead of continuing the story is because of something i felt like talking about. Eps 17 of Kanon, this show has once again striked me hard on the head.

To start off first, ill rather say that recently, i've lost all motivation to work, maybe due to "Yet another Getting Older + More Responsibility" strike inside of me. I've started to stop talking much, even at work. Not to mention i felt i did quite a lot of stupid stuff during the function at work. I try hard not to think, but it seems to haunt me causing me not feeling the kick to even go to work this sat and sun at all. But i'll still go due to the $$ run i need to get for my future plan. Plus this sat im meeting the "Cheeze Order" for dinner, im looking forward to see how far i can make more friends from this new social circle which i have just entered.

So what about this Eposide which strikes me? Its almost the same for "Kuroi Namida" From Anna Tsuchiya. Its a Love and Sad stricken feeling...

Its all about Shiori, who in the last eposide's end we know that she will not live till her Birthday this year which is just around the corner on the Sunday. 1 week directly from where it left off.
The most impact thing is that Shiori does not know yet, despite knowing that she have a Diseases which cannot be cured, she strongly lived on.

I mean, see how strong she is! She is not afrid of facing death, she just wants to live her life happly till then. But luck is not on her side as her sister Kaori is avoiding her ever since beliving that it will 'lessen' her pain if she can just ignore her presence until she dies off. But i would rather say that it will kill her more when she reliase that she can no longer contact her sister as per Mai's Arc Sayuri's Side Story about her and her younger brother. The regreat will kill her more than anyone for not able to fullfill any wishes of Shiori. All she wanted is just to hang around with Kaori, have lunches with her and play. But it ends up having her saying this to Yuuichi.

It feels warm about this. That atlease someone is able to fullfill her last wishes.
But the most striking part is here.

Her answer to this is.....

And to be able to give off such a smile after this.... It just makes me feel more like tearing... Why cant much more teenagers this day treasure more of their life in a better way? I know this is make up but what is the reason for there to make up a story with this kind of elements? Its to make more people reliase that theres more to life than what you can see it is now! In our life we are given infinity options. Even the option to die is given to us but we should not take it untill we have really step to the ending path of it!

All she wants is just someone to praise her...

All she wants is just that her sister's death will not cause her sorrow.

(Side Track)

MOE~~~

Have Not Forgetten About You - Part 2

2007-01-24T21:15:00.000+08:00

Ok, im back to continue the story... Its always nice to be looping emo songs when doing some typing |Track Looping now| ->Kuroi Namida By ANNA Tsuchiya, 3rd ending for the anime 'NANA'

He does not like a bedroom which is painted dark blue.

When night comes, L and C's family all get together in their house for a meal while bringing up all of their history like story telling, in an attempt to assist C in recovering her memory.

After that was a video viewing of them on a vacation. But all this was just watching of someone of similar face as C with a stranger having fun.

"Look how close you were with L, C can you remember anything?"

"Do you remember this scene? Try searching your memory, there must be an impression lefted behind."

"Yar, our brain is like a tap, after being turned off for so long, try to open it abit and it might be back."

C just felt tightnest in her chest, after saying sorry to the crowd, she head towards her room and closed the door.

L staggers with the crutches towards the room and saw her sitting down on the floor of the toilet with her head facing the toilet bowl making sounds heard from someone throwing up.

He sat on the bed looking at her.

"I cant get anything out." She turn her head over and added, "I'm sorry, i know everyone expects me to remember, but i cant do it."

L noded and consoles her."I have a life time to wait for you."

When C slept beside L, theres a feeling of sleeping beside a total stranger in her.

When his about to kiss her, he reliase that she was shrudding badly.

"Don't be afrid, we used to kiss before turning in." and he kissed her, but there was no reaction from her lips at all.

None of them can sleep.

C slowly moved her body away until theres atlease half a foot long distance between them while she used to hold onto him into her dreams.

In the end, due to respect for a female, "If theres a need, ill sleep on the sofa in the living room."

"Your actions are not convinent, ill go out.", after this she lefted the room immideatly with a pillow.

He laid on the bed, feeling all his energy sapped away, unable to even move his fingers for an inch.

Laying beside the bed was a photo of him and C, it was J who took it for them.

Its after a while he felt moisture on his face, L was crying.

The next morning, C entered the room.

"Are you awake?"
He shakes his head and answered. "I have not slept."
"Let me was you up ok? You're still handicap."

L tried alone, but it takes ounces of efford.

C heard water splashing on the floor."Are you taking a shower now?"

He replied loudly, "I'm used to shower once in the morning."

"I can't remember." was her answer.

L finally finished when she said. "You took an hour inside, let me help you next time ok?"

"You're not afrid of facing a stanger's naked body?" half jokingly, L replied.

But it pieced her heart.

"Sorry."

C went silenced for a few minutes while attempts to say something which stops upon reaching her lips.

"If you have anything to say, just speak it out."

"I'm afrid that you will scold me." She stares at the floor.

"I've being giving in to you, if you have some matters just spit it out."

"I want to move back home."

L stuns.

"I know as a Girlfriend, there is a duty to stay by yourside since you have not fully recovered yet. But the truth is, this is taxing on myself." She teared on the dining table, covering her face with her hands.

"Ok, if thats the case, go home! Don't worry much about me, if theres a need i might woo you from the start again."

Until this point, L then reliased how much he love C.

After C moved back, L would send her a bouquet of rose everyday while calling her 5 times a day on the second day.

The 1st call reaches her in the morning when he wakes up, asking if she had a good rest. When having his meals in the afternoon he will call again, the 3rd call lies around 5 pm. Once during dinner and the last call when his going to sleep.

It does not take long for L to notice how irritated C is when she picks up his call after he does this for few days.

J arranged them a few chances to go out for a date and brings them to their old hang out points, sometimes to the Karoke making them sing their usual duet love songs.

L recovered, but not C's memories.

He returns bact to his job as a markerter at the telecom company, the company is now selling a new type of digital handphone.

The engineering department was annoucing the details and functions of the phone.

"This phone is the first phone in history to have the most powerful memories, it can record as many as 300 contacts, phone data within 1 week's duration and even backing up all of it."

L raised a question, "What if the we were to change the battery in the phone or caused it to receive a large impact? Will it lose its memory?"

The speaker replied with a smile. "There is no need to worry at all, changing of battery does not harm its memory, as for the other situation you haved raised, just press this 3 buttons in this sequence and all of your data can be recovered."

How much does L wishes that C was just like this phone, all you need to do is just press some buttons and Volia, memories are backed.

"Is there more i can help you with?" Asked the speaker politely.

"Nothing more." L sighed.

Feeling the viberation around his waist, he found out C paged for him.

"I'm sorry, i'm in a meeting now, i know its after 5...."

"I am not blaming you for not calling me, i wanted to ask if you are free this evening?" C interuppted before L could finish.

"Yes, Yes"

It has being long since C asked L out.

"Lets go to that resturant ok? You used to love going to that balcony resturant for dinner."

"I am ok with any location."

L called for reservation at split second after hanging up.

Dinner was not romantic after all, all because of a single sentance C said.

"If losing my memories make you lost something, i am very sorry. Please understand that I too does not want this accident to occur. I understand the reason why the whole lot of you are rushing me, but your kindness is the reason why I am feeling uncomfortable."

L handed her a piece of tissue, tears are rolling down her cheeks as she finished her confession of pain.

"There were some nights, i forced myself to imagine how i used to love you, by reassembling all those information feed into me by your family and friends into a story of our own. Frankly speaking, i pity you, and myself too."

"Logic tells me i must stay with you for ur life time, but i cannot find back any of the feelings i have for you in the past."

"This feels like I'm touched by others story, I am really touched. But thats not my feelings after all."

L kept his head low all the time.

"Please don't force me, give me some time. Don't make me feel irritated or annoyed. I know I upset you with this things, I just wish to be more true to my feelings."

L noded, even thought this go against his own feelings and thoughts.

"I have faith that we can start over again. You use to love me like there is no forever."

In the hearts of C, she had gotten tired of the word of 'last time'. It had repeated more time than she can accept it.

"I found a new job selling souviners in a gift shop. Please stop picking up on the past story, i want a new start."

She picked up a glass full of water.

L finally relised that he have to accept this women infront of him, is the brand new C.

Even thought its killing him, but he cant stop himself from doing it. He waited for her to finish work half an hour earlier.

C shows a look with disgust the moment she lay her eyes on him.

"I hope I am not borthering you!" He walked into an empty gift shop.

"Please stop haunting me like a ghost will you?"

"Ok, ok." L was afrid of her showing her temper, so he lefted.

"Please give me some personal space." She request for it again.

J finally understand how helpless a man can get when she saw L.

"I felt like i am losing her."

Have not forgetten about you - Part 1

2007-01-20T19:28:00.000+08:00

I am posting this short story i read off a book titled " A shear moment of folly", as it seems to be of an interesting topic, be it for people experienced in love or not yet.

How does it feels to be driving a car at the speed of 100Km per hour towards a clif?

It will feel like projecting the view outside the car upon a large screen , while you merge with the car at the same speed banging upon the barrier.

L thought that he will be plunging into the mountains with the whole car, beside him was his fiance C.

Crashing while Speeding, that should be almost the same as jumping down with a car. After multiple heavy impact, L lost his senses along with a portion of the time he had in his life time.

Its being 16 days after he woken up from the coma, what welcomes him first is not his friends or his family, but the feeling of tremendous pain. This amount of pain does not need to wait till he open his eye lids to start reliasing that his still alive.

He took nearly 5 mintues to look for the call button while having the first 3 minutes trying to accelerate the thinking process of his mind. It takes time and alot of stamina as well.

"Oh,your awake! Ill get the doctor now." was the reply of a middle age nurse who hurried to his ward upon noticing the call. While the nurse left the ward, L closed his eyes again.

He remebered of C.

"How is my Girlfriend?" came straight to the doctor's ear when they first exchange eyes.

"She...... is alright. You don't have to think too much." Replied the doctor, in a wierd fashion.

"Are you lying to me?" L asked in a low voice when the doctor lean towards him to check on him.

L pictured a news with the headlines of "C, dead before reaching the hospital."

'NO!'

"This is the first time God would have received his prayers. If God exists, please! Let C be Alive!"

He griped the doctor's arm with force, "Is my GIRLFIREND REALLY ALRIGHT?"

The doctor remain silence while casting a face towards the nurse.

"Mr L, we have informed your families, they are on their way now."

L Screamed "I WANT TO KNOW THE STATUS OF MY GIRLFRIEND!"

The doctor tidied his clothes, and answered in a simple way. "Please relax, she has already being discharged."

"We are not lying." added the nurse.

L's mother and sister came in half an hour later, tears were rolling the moment they see that his no more in coma.

"You went throughted 4 operation." From his sister whom applied a half day leave from the bank she work at.

His father whose working as a renovater in China could not make it in time.

"Ma, has C really being discharged from the hospital? How heavy are her injuries?"

L's mother holds on to his hands and said "Try not to think of anything, wait till you have recovered."

"But Ma, i want to see her. Could you ask her to come by and visit me? Is she resting at home? Can i give her a call?"

L's mum sighed as she turns towards the direction of her daughter.

"You have just awoken, you need more rest. Just leave all the other things until tomorrow.". L's sister is still keen on keeping him in suspence.

"I want to know! I want to know NOW!" He starts to get agitated, but the current condition of him now is like a machine in its relaxed position, the only feeling he can feel is still pain.

The nurse injected painkillers into his vains, which slowly increases the weight of his eyelids.

Partial of his concious are still alive when his in sleep. Those dreams he weaved felt like memories to him, with all of the past rolling infront infront of his eyes.

In the middle of the night, he woke up to find his sister sitting beside his bunk, waiting.

"I have asked mum to return home first. You want a glass of water?"

He shooked his head, "Can you inform C, ask her to water the plants."

L have being living with C for 1 year long, his being watering the plants he grow out of passion everyday.

"She went back to her family's place to live." Said, and feeds L a glass of water despite him not giving any answer to her question just now.

"Is she angry for me buying that second hand car which led to this tragic?"

She shakes her head, finally breaking the silence along with the suspense. She spoked "L, She only had a shock, and out of luck some scratches. But the main catastrophy is she cannot remember anything."

'What does not remembering anything mean? Everything she has ever remembered?'

'Or does it means that a period of time leaks away from her memory bank?

L does not understand. While his resting in the hospital, he hunts for more news about her situation.

"Not even her own family, to readapt with the enviroment, she quit her work at the duty free shop. Just last week she left for Singapore for a holiday with her parents." L's sister break the news for him.

"Get well soon! You and C need alot of time to re-estlibish the relation again." encouraging words from J.

J was C's best sister, and the appointed Bride's maid for the wedding. If there were no accident, they would have being celebrating their engagement 2 weeks from now.

"If you want her to recover faster, bring her to me!" declared L, "I am the best solution to her problem."

"The doctor suggest that she is still emotional unstable, its best to take it step by step."

"I want to decide with her if we are still going to get registered."

L won. 5 days later L finally met C after the whole ordeal.

"Don't get too worked up." The doctor warned.

The room was evacuated, except the couple.

C looks smaller by a size, and a more sharper chin after not seeing her for a few months.

Feeling sour in his nose, L grabbed C's hands and hold it tight.

"Ouch", and she frees her hands from his.

"Remember me?"

"yes" accompined with heavy nods.

"Really?"L grabs her hands again, just before he pulls off the next action of hugging her, she goes.

"I saw the photos we took together before."

L falls from the sky to the ground with a loud 'Thud' which only he can hears.

"You cant remember anything? What is left there in your brain?"

"Some memories from the distant past, but some fragmented memories. I remembered having a cat in the house before, but mom told me that is atlease 17 or 18 years ago, but i cant recognise any of my family members."

L starts to reincite those good old days. From they first encounter, first kiss, first time they had sex while on a trip. Even the fire which happened at home where he rushed into the kitchen to save her from the flames.

But the issue is she had forgetten any of those sorts. The scene looks like a stranger telling his own story.

"Lets start again after i get leave this place!"

C nods.

"I'll leave now, take a good rest."

L cant tell any emotion from that last sentence, it does not contains any concern from a lover.

"Lets cancel the engagement this coming fortnight." L suggested before she leave the ward.

He cant force a stranger to merry him, he is willing to wait for her to remember everything, or rebuild a new sets of memories.

3 weeks later, C did not come to pick him up after being discharged.

"She moved back to where both of you were staying 3 days ago to wait for you." Confirmed his sister.

L still requires the walking stick to assist him, C is willing to take care of him.

"I can temporary stay at your place." Offered L's mum.

He kindly rejected the offer, in order to buy time to patch up with C.

"Dad did renovated your place for free to welcome you home." L's Sister added while driving.

He had already had plans to renovated. But due to the purchasing of the second hand car, he gived up the previous idea.

The accident was a misfortuned as C gived up in arguing with L about the purchasing of the car.

Outside his door, his sister asked L to take a deep breath, while stepping into a new enviroment and readjust .

C opened the door within 5 seconds of pressing the door bell.

L was throwned a bomb shell.

The living room was painted orange, with curtains of yolk like colour.

"Who's idea was it?" asked L.

"Dad did what C requested." L's sister answered it before the rest.

"You used to say that all walls are suppose to be white in colour." Questioned L towards C.

L saw C displaying a confused expression, "Orange walls seem to be refreshing as well." L answered to himself.

The bed room was painted dark blue.

L looks at C, who seems to be intimidated by him and says "New feelings are not bad. We use to chat about looking for some newer feelings."

"I will end off here first, else it will kill people who are slow in reading."

Check Point - New Year

2007-01-01T07:31:00.000+08:00

Just came back from Celebrating New Year with a bunch of friends (M.M, =[Z]en, Lone Ghost, Marc, Limli). I shall break it down to as much details before my eyelids start to auto - shut down.

Started the morning working. Piece of shit, the hotel is fully booked and was busy like crazy. Im pratically running while working but luckly, i finish work at 12.30.
Meet up with =[Z]en at 5.30 at Boon Lay Control station before setting off to wandering around SLT & SLS & Funan. By 8 we meet up with LG before shifting our location to the Cosafe itself.

The Cosafe had a major change, not only was there more variety of "Uniform", they also are more comfortable in working as they can engage the "Masters" (which are the customers) easier and in a more active tone.

Althought the place is packed like full, we got a table for 10 arranged for us as i booked earlier. There were only 4 of us but we were occupying a table for 10.... I feel bad at first and got pissed off with the rest for coming late. LG ordered a Sirlion Steak while me, =[Z]en and Marc took an order of cakes.

Our orders were served Very Late, the cakes took atlease 45 minutes while LG's sirlion steak got delayed as long as around 2 hours? It came at the same time as =[Z]en's Fish and Chips which he only ordered 20 minutes ago.

The Count down was very fast, we did not even reliase the time is 12 already when we got attacked by the maids with ribbon spray. We retailated back with me blowing ballons and exploding it with a steak knife (grins). They were so scared of it so much that when they saw me coming they run away. lol

To be Cont....

Checkpoint - Life So far

2006-12-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

I've got to say. Optic Cables are important to people like me. Now that the earthquake has killed 6 optic cables, my msn has stopped working, IRC, emessenger and also Web messenger also cannot work. Thankfully blogger still works which allows me to let off some steam.

Earthquake at the end of year 2006 reminds me of back then in 2004 where what we received as a 'present' for 2005; Tsunami. It just brings people to thoughts, Why natural disasters have to happend at the end of the year? normally December is a year where celebrations will be the biggest, not just because of Christmas, but also signifies the Start of a new year with brighter future for everyone.

Its also the worse time of the year for people who:

1 - Do not have enough $$
2 - People who are from (1) and has lots of friends
3 - Those who had just got retrenched/dumped/dismissed/admitted to hospital
4 - Secetries of big companies where sending Xmas Cards by snail mails to business partners is a must
5 - MLM or MNM people with large amount of connection and belives the same theory as those bosses of (4)
6 - Friendster maniacs who wants to give all their friends on friendster a happy xmas testimonial.

Theres more than this group, but hack its just like what my friend said before.
In this season of the year, having lesser friends is what keeps your wallet fat.
I have to agree with him but the thing is that, is it that worth it? Just by saving some $$ or maybe a lot of $$, not knowing people is never something I wanted to do unless you tell me that the person is someone who just make use of others weakness to his/her own good. If its so, may I add that this kind of people will live long enough just to suffer his own misdeeds.

From what I have read before from a book by lie Yong, this short story was quite enlighting.

In heaven, besides the river of soul theres a fortune teller which has the ability to tell any soul his/her future before he/she goes for reincarnation. But because before they reincarnate they will be drinking the Mong Po soup which causes them to forget all things for reincarnation, this allows those who have heard of a harsh future to forget things easier.

1 kid name Kong Qiu went over and asked his future, the man tells him " You're very intelligence, with good speach capabilities and born a good teacher and philospher. But the timing of your birth is not wise as althought your family is prestige, but your an illigimate child. You will have lots of students but those who are good either gets killed or dies young. Althought you travel alot to teach, sometimes you do not even get a bowl of rice to eat."

"Chen Shi Bu Shou, Dai Shi Bu Lian", Kong Qiu lefted those words, bowed and left sadly.

Another kid name Su Ge Lar Di came, the mans sees and mutters " Fantastic, Fantastic!", "Why you have almost the same life as Kong Qiu? Your born a teacher and a philospher, but you aren't born in a prestige family. Your father is a stone smith and your mother is someone who helps people giving birth. But too bad, you like to argue with people so much that it brings death to you."

"Jing Yu Ke Yi Wei Zi Shang!" and the kid left holding back his tears.

Xi Ma Qian came, the man laughed "Its such coincdence, yet another one which likes to argue till misfortune finds you, but you are more lucky. You can choose between
Custration or Execution. You choosed the first one and live with disgrace!"

"I might be afrid of dying and choosed living. But dying does not prove my stance at all!" and he lefted blushed.

After half a day (1 day in heaven is 1000 year on our realm), 2 kids came hand in hand.

"Both of you are friends right? But too bad that you will be splitted by a 100 year's difference in the human realm, nevermind since both of you are going to meet each other soon as both of you have a short life."

Both kids showed a shocking reaction and retorted "We both die young?"

The Fortune teller points at Wan Ren "You live for 25 years!" and at Li He "You're more lucky, you live 1 more year than him but still short lived."

"Sigh, Xi Yun Bu Ji, Ming Tu Dou Keng!" Wan Reng started crying loudly and added,
"Lao Tian Wei He Zer Yang Wu Qing Ne!"
"Tian Fou You Qing Tian Yi Lao!" Li He drags the still sobbing Wan Reng and left with hatred.

And a while later, a pretty little girl came and visited the fotune teller.

"You're a smart kid, even your husband and grand father also admit. But your life is not that prominent. Widowed at 40 years old, remarried but still divorced. Divorce, Court Case, almost everything will happening in your life. Worse is you might even go to jail!"

Li Mei Qing cried loudly, awakening Tian Di whose having an afternoon nap.

"Whose that crying so loudly!"

"Your Majesty, its this girl here who's crying after hearing how bad her life in the next incarnation will become. Please be appeased."

Tian Di went into a rage. "Who says she is going to live a bad life? All those you said going to experience a bad life, 8 out of 10 of them are actually good live. Imagine that after they were born, just in those human decads, those with long live can experience more, learn more and with those experience and also knowledge can they achive Wisdom to rich an even higher level of thinking. Those whose lives are short althought die young, but they can do wonders and produce miricales. What is so wrong with that? And you who turns joy to sadness, white to black. Messed up people's mind should be punished! I will make you reincarnate as a rich man's son where you live without worries and does not think much at all, causes you to smell with copper for the next three generation!"

From this story, what have you learned? I feel that even if life is short, we just have to live it to our fullest, doing what we and other people can agree as "pushing our life to our max". I belive that those out there who have problems with coping with live. This sentance might help you abit more.

"Remember, that a beautiful Lotus grows from a muddy ground, its from this ground where it abosrbs its nutrients and enhance itself to a higher level. Same goes for humans, learning from your mistakes allow you to become a better person, for you are the lotus of your life and mistakes and problems are the nutrients which lies in the muddy ground."

Slice of My Life - Runner

2006-12-21T22:45:00.000+08:00

Today's job is different from normal, firstly im not working at my usual outlet. Im working at Cafe Noel. A booth situated at B1 outside Out of The Pan near Roxy, where we sell log cakes, ginger bread man, fruit cakes and also some pastries.

When i first arrive there, the first thing i was doing was packing muffins for an order of 42 muffins which the customer is going to collect at afternoon. Following along is some cleaning up stuff and setting up of the booth. Then i was guided to the Pastry Kitchen. Where i witnessed what is call WAR.

In that kitchen itself, multiple tall and short hat chefs, armed with knifes and spread knifes were making cakes, pastries like no tomorrow. Its was crazy when i saw the scene. Its like as if they were fighting a constant war to go against unstoppable orders. Which was what i had on my hand.

Its kinda interesting, the way they were trying to get things done there. I came back a few more times later to pick up more order, and soon i was asked to assist Thos SB at Level 3. Where i met DEX whos working today as well at there. We were being asked to run around, me picking up cakes while he went to pick up Turkeys and also Hams.

Its quite fun, running around the hotel and the shopping district. Not something i can do all the time at PMC or AP. But then the worse came is when my manager asked us a group of people to do some crazy stuns for setting up of the Chrismas Collection at Level 2.

Me, ET, DEX and 2 more guys from PMC were shifting the Chrismas tree which is 2 story tall from 1 end of the corner to another. Moving this shit is crazy, some people stopped just to see us move it and some even took a photo....

We then were asked to move tables, and after that me and ET cursed the whole time. We were ordered to transport Glass Table tops from 4th floor banquet down to 2nd floor the Stall there. Using a pathetic Trolly.......

Nothing more to add so far. Just tired and still having work tomorrow.

Slice of My Life - Year 3 Santa Clause Part 2

2006-12-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

Today's situation is different, some how its not as normal as it is usually for my duties as a "Santa Clause" and because of that, i had a different feeling than what i would get normally after duty.

Was called by my manager to report for santa clause duty today at 3pm - 5pm at Prego, the Italian restaurant at the first floor of RTP, reknowned for its pasta and pizzas. Today however, they have a special function for kids from an orphanage. Where kids of different family back ground were send to this "home" (i call it a home as most kids there still atlease have contact with either of their parents.)

So when i was told that they were from orphanage, i at first thought they were pity kids, until i meet them then i reliased 1 thing, im being a idoit for passing judgement so early. They were down there waiting for the place to get ready. So i was asked to entertain them when i got shocked by the first few questions and things they throw cruely towards me....

You are not the real santa.
Look, i can see your face.
Are you really from Northpole?
Why are you so skinny.

Thats just a portion of the "Daggers" of innocence i have suffered. I tried to reason out with them and it ended up causing the atmosphere to stagnant.....
Luckly the sits were cleared and then they procced to their seats, following that is a magic show, i have to say that even i had fun watching it. Then following on is the meal while kids are getting food and also making their own pizza... which ended up in a mess.

What i rather want to say is that. From what i can see about the whole crowd, Kids around their level are rather exposed to partial of what i call "External World Influences" aka EWI. Theres some kids with a rather bad attitude, they ask for alot and keep insisting things going their way. But somehow i dun feel offended, rather i think i kinda pity them and give them loads of candies. Until the Lady which is incharge of them ask me not to.

What i feld the most is rather awakard in the 2 hours. I know im not good tackling with kids, but until the point where i do not know what to talk to them about, i feel that im kinda a loser. While i see other of my collegues having fun communicating with them, maybe i dun seem to beable to converse well about things i am not sure of.

Guess i need to pick up newer ways of conversing with kids, im ok with social phy but seems to fail at kids phy. Maybe thats 1 reason why some people i know now i cant seem to communicate with them well.... coz they are Big kids. Lol

Random Penny of Thought - Thoughts

2006-12-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

Double posting day it is. As im going on my working spree this month, i had alot of chunky thoughts stuffed up my cerebrum, letting it staying stagnant is not a good choice, So its printed down here on my blog. Enjoy =)

Humans Feed by Breaking food down to molecular absorbable level, like Stach to Glucose, Protein to Amino Acid, Fats to Glycerol and Fatty Acids before storing them or using them in our body. How about our thoughts?

What i have camed out is "How Thoughts Digest". First, when human accept the knowledge or ideas, its first brokened down to the form of core value that human is accepted with. Core value meaning the way that human processed his or her thoughts. Such as a Christian will follow what the Bible has teached, a Buddist will follow what was passed down from the Sultras and so on. The value of thought and the incoming information is then compared. If its rejected it will pratically end there. Such confirmation will be like hearing:

"Bullshit", "Whateva", "Right...".

If that information is compared and accepted, it will then go throught the 2 way process. Be it stored or utilised. Utilised meaning that the piece of information will then be "Integrated" with the core values of the person, and then it will be added into that person's Principles. The only we can see if this person will go by it or totally understand it is by seeing that he or she will do what he or she had for herself. And usually, not alot of people follow their own principles now.

By storing it, the piece of information is registered in the brain, in some form of unknown way. Sciencetist has concluded that humans remember things by images and sounds. And that even include Emotion experienced. However its easy to store things in our brain but not easy when recalling them out. That is the reason why we cant remember even what we might have left our things around normally. Examples like the remote control has being brought to the kitchen but when you return to the living room you reliased the remote control is missing with no memory of it being brought to somewhere.

This is also the reason why some people burst into tears when they hear a partically music or something similar. Sound is the hardest for human to avoid as theres no way of totally immuning our ear from sounds beside having another source of sound going in to block off the external sound. Thus Music is also knowned as the "Recorder of Emotion" (Credit to =[Z]en).

However, theres some kinds of human which are special. No matter what they have being exposed to, they do not seemed to be affected. Thats because they are either idoitic or maybe they are just ignorant. Meaning they totally rejected whatever information which is passed down to them. It also means that they have a strong stance but if that stance is just a stance of someone who does not want to learn. Then maybe its useless to try changing that person.

Slice of My Life - Year 3 Santa Clause

2006-12-17T23:05:00.000+08:00

Ok, Well as the title speaked. Im working a Year 3 Santa Clause now at the same place, Raffles the Plaza. Today is just the end of my first part of job there.
Same issue, walking around the outlets at plaza and give out candies to kids and sometimes some 'Big' Kids, lol.

This year has an added stuff: Distributing Brochers for ordering of Log Cake from Cafe Noel. Its not bad, but it makes me abit more not well - liked by parents.
"Santa is now a Salesman, dun go near him kids."

Maybe thats what some parents are thinking at the time when i distro them the brochers in the outlets. But i dare say that im not that rejected by parents. Most commented: "Your a Young santa!", "Santa Junior", "Your TAll!", "Santa went throught a Diet!". Theres more, but i cant really remember. I can still remember one of the parents i greeted on the escalator, "Oh, Santa with army Boots. You kick Ass!"

Being surrounded with kids, not a fun thing but roughly enjoyable. I like it the way when they do not dare to approach me, Some got shocked when i go near or leave the booth. They never expected Santa to be so tall. Some are mischevious, playing around poking me or giving me a tap. 1 Even commented "The last time i see you you were wearing a glasses, but this time your not and your more skinny. How come you keep changing?". This shows how cute kids are, they do not hide themself from you. If they are shy they show it out, hiding behind their parents or running away. If they like you they keep calling you, playing around with you. If they are afrid they just Cry. I had caused alot of kids crying, but luckly a candy is just right to save the day. XD

I also came across afew awkard situations, like some people asked me for sweets, employees espically. The worse was trying to not giving them in public. I had experiences of manager complaining to me the public reflected that i give the employees sweets when their kids only get 1. I feel bad unable to give those who asked me for it. But ill try to give them when i had the chance. But chances weren't high when you are stucked there in the public area with an attractive suit spelling "Come get Your Sweets" on it.

Plus i was given the order of not giving sweets when petrolling, only when im at the booth and at the Outlets i can give sweets. I feel bad for not giving those kids who spotted me on the way, but an order is an order i have to follow. So i always try to get kids to follow me to the booth, but i had heard of complains like "This santa how come dun give sweets one?" or "Wah, how come no present?". I cant do much to change it. But to hope they dont keep hugging on to the problem and make a fuss out of it.

Speaking of a fuss, when i finished the duty today, i was thrown into a big problem. Theres this 2 guys arguing at the fountain, i do not know what they were arguing but it defitnitely remembered me of that stupid incident back then. I actually thoughted about going to mediate, but all of a sudden i reliased that if i were to go there in my costume, what might happen? I only know im now lefted with the bitter after - taste of not attempting to help.

Man regreats when he fails to do something right, but they will be thrown into remorse for not attempting.

Im going to give those who want to stalk me a chance. Dec 24th and 25th, Raffles Shopping center. If you guys want to stalk me heres my routine. But my timing is not out yet so if i do release the timing of it. Good luck

My Route always start from PMC, following to Thos SB, Sze Chuan Court, Inigiku, Out Of The Pan, Prego and Finally Back to PMC. But be warned. I will kick anyone's ass for trying to do funny things...

Random Penny of Thoughts - Meaning

2006-12-16T00:55:00.000+08:00

This is something which came up to me when im free this afternoon, if this bores you follow the same instruction as when you see "Slices of my Life"

Follow my instruction now, and see if you understands what im going to talk about following on.

1.Lift your hand away from your mouse/touchpad.
2.Open it up and face the palm towards you.

Now tell me what do you see?

For people who say they see nothing, it means you do not understand the meaning of 'Nothing', for those who claim they see something, it means you do not understand the meaning of 'Something'.

Why did i say so?

For people who said 'Nothing', it means you never reliase that theres more than just that 'nothing' you have seen, it contains things including your palm lines, air which is all around, pores on your hand.

For people who said 'Something', it means you know theres something there, but what can you really see from it? You will actually see nothing.

A Successful Man may say he sees his Future
A Sorrowful Man may say he sees his End
A Magician Might just pop something out of nothing
A Family Man might sees his family
A Couple might see each others hands
A Killer might see his sins

Theres to many ways to see what is on our hand, but what exactly do i want to say?

What i was thinking of, was that Human, at different point of time, would be thinking of different things. But all are related to 'Something'. They always wanted something, when a person says he wants nothing, it does not mean true in him. Likewise for a person who said he wanted something, but is that something what he ever wanted? No!

Humans are people that never sees an end to things, when they get something, they want another something. When they run out of things they want in life, they say lifes boring. But Is that true in the first place?

Think about it. What do you ever wanted in life versus what you ever wanted to accomplish in life? How different is it now? When you reliased, theres so many changes in what you have ever wanted.

A Kid wants toys
A Teen wants a girlfriend
An NS man wants his ORD
A graduated student wants a good job
A 30+ man wanted to get married
A Married Man wants a new love
A Retired Man wants a good Life

So What have happened? The wants in life developed with us, along with our thoughts and current situation. Theres never a stop in wanting something. When a Man stops wanting something.

That will be call Enlighterment.

Ugly Singaporeans

2006-12-13T22:15:00.000+08:00

I bet it issnt the first time someone talk about this. But im really going to throw some bombs to sink this island if i do not post on what happened today, on bus 502 along orchird road. Its irritating thinking back, lucky thing is i stable myself before something worse happened.

People who know me knows my monstrious height, 188 arent something you can see every where for sure, and most who took bus with me before agree that i always look for sits with abundant of space, mostly those face to face sits, behind the door sits or those behind the drivers. Those are mostly sits which i will aim for, unless forced to sit somewhere which my friends have sitted, i wont want to squeeze my legs for a numb session.

Today was normal, went out to meet my sis and mum after ESA (hope i do not screw that paper), had dinner and was on Bus 502 borded opposite Raffles the Plaza's Lobby Taxi Stand. My mum took the sit which was directly behind the standing area, with my sis accompaning her at the side. I sat behind them which happend to be one of those squeezy sits, i had no choies as those sits which i wanted were occupied, i cant sit with my mom as well coz im big, and my sis wont be able to fit in my sit as well. So i had to sit even cross-legged, occupying both sits. I know it sux, but i had no choice.

Soon the bus started to get filled, and when i reach phoenix hotel, this "Lady" in purple, i guess her height is around 160? She saw the sit beside me was occupied with my bag, straighten her voice and asked me to let that sit to her. I was like WTF? Nevermind, i told her its not possible as i do not have enough space. Then she goes "I belive this sits are supposed to be shared, what do you think you are?"

I was thrown out of my stable mind, as she had to raise her voice in a Crowded Bus, its not like as if no one could heard her, the bus is like a can of sardine, there were people before which tried to hint me abt it, but when they see how my legs were inter-twined, they give up. But then i demostrated to her, when i get both my legs in place closed together, i cant even get my butt to hit the cusion. But she still do not give a Damn.

I sprang out a sentance "Maybe you would be able to suggest some good ways to solve this problem?" Its the best way know to shut her up. But my mum and sis were irritated already, its the first time we bump into this situation. So they ask me to pass them my bag and let her have that punny sit. I was really pissed. Its the first time im scrumbling to tryanny. I kept trying to keep my cool, Glad im listening to the Zen.

Then She was eating up quite alot of space on the handel, i had to squeeze myself into a corner to let her have abit more space. My sis flashed her phone to me with a message to bump her if i do not have enough space. But i replied saying that she will be the one who eats her own actions. True enough as what i predicted. She nearly slipped when the bus made a turn for far east plaza, i almost laughed out. But she does not seem to care at all and during the rest of the trip, she kept talking loudly on her phone, seemly trying to pissed me off. But 2 BAD! I had a Freaking bad habbit of Hearing at 23/25 from the ZEN. SO DREAM ON BOUT PISSING ME OFF SHORT WITCH!

Its not the first time i experienced the uglyness of Singaporeans, I had alot of this experienced but not as worse as this time. I wonder if singaporeans like her had prejudice against Tall people. If yes, go form a pettition or whateva, if not. Dont bug me on the bus when i cant even had a nice sit.

SG MeidoCafe Review

2006-12-13T00:53:00.000+08:00

This is a post on the visit to the soft launch of the First Meido Cafe in Singapore, the Boring island plagued with digusting stupid "Odex" Anime VCDs (LOL). Not that i am against them, but i rather had my anime done better by other people.

Its on Tuesday, 12th of December, Me, =[Z]en and Mr J went to visit the place at Chijmes. The area seems to be just recovering from a heavy down pour. As chijmes does not have 100% shelter, its not tough to say that during raining seasons it will kill business. But thats not of my concern.

The Name Card and our Bill.

Their Logo

A Chrismas tree found nearby

We sat down at a sit after getting assurance from a guy who looks like the instructor or something like that. As its the first nite, the Menu was actually "Fresh" from the Printer. The Food list is rather more towards the western dishes and not the japanese dishes which i was hopping for. (Omelet anyone?)

Printed Menu

The atmosphere of the place

I dont really feel like giving too many comments, as its still new so ill let the pictures do the talking.

Rasberry Kiss

Mango Smoothee

Cheese Cake

Our "Maid" while dining there

For those interested. The details of the place is:

30 Victoria Street
#01-11 CHIJMES
Singapore 187996
WWW.Cosafe.com.sg

Slice of My Life: Mugging for CT

2006-12-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

Urg, Ct is around like next week and i reliased that i have not being listening in class at all.(BRE + BSPA mainly) Plus i have lots of left over stuff not done. But they are mostly settled today and i have finally able to put myself down for studying

First is Heading off to school for Setling of I&E, its being lefted there pending for too long and i reliase that the most craziest group and the most biggest plan group have alrd gotten the ball rolling while my group? Still stuck at the neck bottle....

So i asked a meeting today, settling the days in which we need to get things done and dates where we will meet up to finalse things. Having settled that i also gotten a sms from Steven. Now i have to plan out my schedule and timetable for all my things which im going to do during the short holiday. Piority is work and I&E.

This holiday im going to rush working, need to earn up the extra cash for school fees and also party expenses for Com club and other outside mini events between friends. I think im going to hook up mel and pam out for a gathering as well. So if you are reading this, Give me an sms of when you are free!

So now lets see what i have done? I went to pick up cash with ET, his stressed enough but at the same time, his getting abit more irritating.....

This is what i took from taka:

Now at the Library i found this!

(hih dun get over excited! Its in Chinese BTW)

After that went to meet Buddah at hong kah mac for studying, then moved to Edmund's house instead coz i need power. I have never settled down for a serious study as this time.
Lets see what i required for a good study enviroment:
- Good Lightling.Checked
- Good Ventillation.Checked
- Good Music.Checked

Plus, some additional stuff

Plus a special Milk Tea with Vodka(?) which i cant taste any Vodka at all...

Last but not lease some Photos i took of the moon near lake side.

Last but not lease, Bartneder OST is Out! Im falling in love with Jazz Music now...

New Target - Moon!

2006-12-03T00:30:00.000+08:00

What we used to take for granted : Moon, is now being put to good use for astronomers with a clear sky, Bright moon but No Star.

Moon Crater Hunting!

I know it sounds dumb, but when you look at the photos its going to astonish some people. (Its taken with my 1.3 Megapixel Camera phone, the light exposure handling was sucky as im still noob to this phone, so dun complain too much and enjoy it. When sticky uploads more sicker pictures of 2148 X 1420 size pics, ill add in the link so that it does not spoil my outline!)

The Following shots are pictures of the Telescope used in the Moon Ob
(Its 40 CM, so in mm its actually 400 MM!)

The following Shots are taken just using my Camera with the maximun Zoom
(Its not that much but the effect is quite good)

(This shot makes the Moon look even more Nice)

The Following Shots are from the Pantex 40 Cm Telescope.

(Exposure set too Low)

(Exposure Set too high)

(My favourite, the best shot taken with just the best exposure and with the least shaking of my hands due to Work + Swimming)

All in all this trip to Science Center is Fun, espically seeing how they handel such big scopes plus the fun of seeing kids having fun too looking at the skies.

Slice of My Life: ANE 12

2006-11-26T23:19:00.000+08:00

Ok, Yes, im back from Camp. And this is the second time i attended this camp ANE, but the previous time i attended as a GL, and now as a Senior Log. The feeling is different when you are not widely needed in the SO(Stand Operation, plus you dint get in contact with the Participants that much except Night Ob and Night Walk.

But hack, i had what i wanted to do
1. Scare People
2. Night Observation
3. Stack People
4. Sight Seeing

The thing bout this camp is that i get to see some things, interesting and irritating equal. The fact that i was a senior log make me reliase, i wasnt given much job in the first place. Plus there were abundunt of helpers, i really appreciate those who help moved the scope, if im not wrong, Vincent Thanks for moving the Dob around and the other guy which i dint get the name which moves the base of the dob.

While being pleasent, the Ob was kinda dissapointing at the start, cloud cover arent that nice, its thick clouds around the sky and only a small portion is revealed. With the Dob i was quite restricted with what i can do. But when the clouds clear, i have another problem. I dun know what or which object to find.

I can only manuver over 2 objects which was either requested or asked to. O neb and Peladice(my Spelling sux so dun complain). I wanted to find other objects but theres really no clue of what to find. I can only blame on myself for not doing much homework, i actually wanted to look throught Starry Star Night to prep myself for the OB. But ended up forgetting it when im busy doing some other stuff.

In Camp, I can only say that theres not much u can do abt, since it seems that most people are doing their own stuff, i can say that i am bored. When told that duty is only from 9pm onwards at the morning of day 2. I can only scream bored. But hack, i cleared my backlog at last, ESA was left on pending as its FREAKING hard 2 do. I love programming yes, but not Debugging on Register Programs and raw Machine Code.....

Night walk was thrilling, espically when theres 3 person working together. Sheng Huat and Terry the climbers did a wicked job in climbing around the Cubicles to scare people while i tried Vic's method in scaring ppl by grabbing their legs, althought there are times i got caught, but non the lest i get to scare people. I enjoy hearing screamming. Yes i am a Saddist XD!

Stacking, something which i havent being doing for quite long, is enjoyable when people are on, even if there were injuries, pain or cuts. The thing is that we are all doing this thing for 1 purpose, Stack the Sucker at the bottom. And let me explain, the second person to be stacked is acutally the one suffering from the most damage. His not having a flat ground, but another person while having to handle all the other people's weight above him. He also have to see if its ok to continue stacking incase the target is not concious or not feeling really well already.

All in all i get to fufil most of what i wanted. But if there were some pictures i might upload it.

The Last thing i would like to add is that when you lose something, you will actually gain something back. I belive thats true now, but ill have to see throught for more of such examples. But i do know that human are constantly losing something and getting something: Time and Experience.

Another Boring page of life.

Slice of My Life: First MC in 2 Years

2006-11-16T22:10:00.000+08:00

Well, im sick and before the drowsness of the medcine took over me, im going to add some things in here. Yes, its about what happened to me. So next time for anyone who is nt interested in this, after spoting the 4 words on my topic, you can kindly click the 'X' Sign located at the top left of the screen. Thank You
_____________________________________________________________________________________

I am quite astonished actually, the fact that i have not taken MC for 2 years long.
Did i really keep a healthy lifestyle? I dont really think so. Lets see, When i work morning shift, i will usually either not eat my breakfast, or just nimble some stuff either at the resturant or the god forsaken tuck shop. And the most impt thing, 2 shots of Espresso.... yes, the most bitter and the most digusting coffee drink consider to most, directly into my throat.

Working is not considered fun, neither its consider irritating. Coz when working ill tend to use it to think throught stuff, either family or school. Its not bad, espically i dun have to waste more pipeline in my mind when working, 3 Years of working there has pratically drilled most details as a schema.

Its also the primary sorce of irritation i get usually on that same day. When working, theres always chances where irritating guest will ask for too much. Most absurb stuff i have ever heard of before is:

"Waiter, i do not like this sit, its in the middle of the Resturant."
"Can i have some Ketchup?(Its behind her! Fat Bitch)"
"Do you have Teh Tarik?(Hello, we are not running Indian Buffee Resturant!)"
"What kind of coffee you serve? No Nescafe? What kind of Resturant is this!(OMFG! WE SERVE FRESHLY BREWED COFFEE!!! BLENDED FROM BEANS DIRECTLY AND YOU WANTED INSTANT COFFEE!!! FUCK OFF!)"

As such, this group of Guest are considered in my "Slam them hard with a Tray" Catagory. Of course there are some good ones, theres times where guest spoke to me about things like weather, good sight seeing location, or even talk bout stuff like me. Theres once an old sir was talking to me saying i looked like Elvis Presly when his younger, in his Truck driving days. He said that he wanted to attend my concert 1 day. I thought it was quite lame at first, but i cant deny the fact that maybe thats what he sees from his view. Im not too sure bout myself. I know that i kill when i sing lol.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Life is boring without Anime, so now ill be adding a section on the titles im chasing now. There are certain titles im collecting unless i have no more space.

Titles im collecting now are:

-Pumpkin Scissors

-ZegaPain

-Kanon

-Hataraki Man

-Death Note

-Code GEASS

-Bartender

-Busuo Rinken
-Black Blood Brothers
-Welcome to the NHK!
Those are the titles im chasing now.
The Favourite Op's are:
-'Innocent Sorrow' by Abingdon boys school (New Band By T.M Revolution)
-'Puzzle' by ROUND TABLE feat. Nino
-'Bartender' by Natural High
-'Aoki Flame' by Takahashi Youko
-'COLOURS' by Flow

For Ed's are:
-'Alumina' by Nightmare
-'Shangri-La' by Chatmonchy
-'Madokashii Sekai no Ue de' by Makino Yui (Seiyu of Misaki of Welcome to the NHK!)

This is what i kept listening and watching for now. I hope to be able to last till the end of all this anime. School work is getting more and more irritating now....

The Powers of The Internet

2006-11-12T21:13:00.000+08:00

Ok, so im really bored now at home. Im going to use this times to come up with what i have felt of the convinence(s) and Danger(s) of the Internet. In My personal Terms.

What is the Internet?
_____________________

"The Internet is the worldwide, publicly accessible network of interconnected computer networks that transmit data by packet switching using the standard Internet Protocol (IP). It is a "network of networks" that consists of millions of smaller domestic, academic, business, and government networks, which together carry various information and services, such as electronic mail, online chat, file transfer, and the interlinked Web pages and other documents of the World Wide Web."

From Wikipedia (im lazy to go sum it up)

So we have seen it, the "pipeline" for us to be connected to others out there in other parts of this sphere we are living in. But what about it is Good and Bad?

The Good Side
_____________

We are easier connected to people living far away, not just the distance of Jurong to Changi, but rather for even people away as far as China, USA or even Antartica.

This is indeed convinence for people who need to settle business with overseas clients, by simply using Video chat, or exchanging of emails. A big business deal can be settled. Or for people whom their love ones are overseas for various purposes. In the past its all about postcard and air mails, now its all in a click of the finger to report safty and misc issues. All thanks to the Internet.

The internet is always a convinent Source for information, you can just hook up a search engine (Google, Msn, Yahoo, Lycos etc etc)and search for what you want. Wikipedia is another source too. Theres also online News agency which provides news, be it localy or overseas, jounre covering finance, politics, local issues, sports. Everything you ever needed is on the internet!

Playing games can never be more fun then challenging other people online, Introduction of MMORPG's(Massive Multi-player Online Role Playing Games), MMOFPS(First Person Shooting), MMORTS(Real Time Stragety) or even some MMOP(Platform) can satisfy anyone's ego in being success and triumph over another person, be it someone known or just another stranger within the same circle of games.

File sharing, 1 of the biggest uses of the internet. You do not have to wait till your document to be delivered by mail, rather just by attaching it on an e-mail, uploading it to a FTP Server, or simply just by directly sending over to another person by different clients(Messengers, IRC, ICQ) and Volua! The things are slowly transfered. without taking the trouble of mailing it and worrying it cant reach the other party in whole pieces or lost of the files.

While we are looking at this, the internet seems safe and sound, aiding us in all its way it can just by moving the mouse, type in some URL, click some buttons. But, theres a Big Hazard towards Internet which is also its reason of being the no 1 killers of different issues.

The Bad Side
____________

1.Illegal File Transfering: Mainly Illegally made copy of Copyrighted Songs, Videos, Movies, Shows, Pictures, Novels or even Magazines. All this are considered illegal when transfering due to the Copyright Laws. Worse case senarios are things including Pornography, private pictures or videos, Personal Deatails which is recodered on the Harddisc of the Computer where its obtained from.

2.Hacking and Backdooring: Breaking into someone's house is illegal, such that breaking into someone's computer is also illegal. Hackers are people which
"A hacker is someone who creates and modifies computer software and computer hardware, including computer programming, administration, and security-related items"
From wikipedia. This shows that they are able to break into other people's PC, without acknowledgement, without trace, did some funny stuff(mainly snooping out data, transfering files from your pc to theirs, load virus into the system or worse, using your pc as a relay point inplace of theirs and starts doing illegal things online). Some times they leave behind nasty 'presents' like trojan horses, virus, ad-ware or spy-ware, either to moninter your computer's data, pop up unnessary things, creating a back door from your pc to theirs for usages of unknown purposes.

3.The "Over Convinence" of the Interner: Imagine, you want food, order it off some site, and its delivered to you. You want to shop, it can be delivered to you. You want some entertainment, you go search for whateva you can use to keep yourself accompany. You want to find your friends, theres messengers or VoIP sofwares to chat with them. You want to "release Pressure", you can go 'prawn' sites to 'release' it. Just imagine, everything you need is online, and you can even get the things set up on your bed, and just having to go off for toilet breaks. This is nice to some people but its wrong, as it will lead to serious problems. Health deteroids, Hygene level drops. Soon you will just becom addicted like a drug addict, unable to move away from the computer at all. This lead to a social problem as if this spreads much, economy will fall(most internet addicts found in China are teens and young adults ard the age of 16 - 19). Or Leads to 'NEET', "Not in Education, Employment and Training" and worse case is the "Hikikomori" Syndrome, ill not go throught too much on this terms, you can easily find it on wiki. But the problem with this is that when you wake up from the addiction, you will reliase that you have actually wasted precious times on doing regretfull things....

Conclusion
__________

Everything has 2 sides, even light has shadow, Man has Woman. No matter what happends, the internet is useful as long as you control the uses of it. Or else you have only yourself to blame in the end.

2006-11-02T22:23:00.000+08:00

My Mersing/Tioman Trip Post
___________________________

I think this post have being delayed for quite long already, lol. Well who cares right? The thing is i borther to post it. Im going to do it day by day.

Pre - Attending Thoughts
________________________

The reason why i feel like attending althought i was quite against the idea of going out on a trip to Malaysia with people who i am not really that close to, but i soon give up that self-fish thinking when i see the pictures of the milky way. Its my dream to see the milky way with my eyes, not to mention without using the scopes... it will be a dream of mine to come true if i am able to see it, so i discussed with kk about it, he agrees that we should just go for it since it will be a rare chance too for him. I never regreated to go on this trip. Plus its my second time going on an overseas trip without my parents. But my first time going an overseas trip with school friends. I at first am afrid of my mum rejecting it, but she just allow me to go for it. I guess she also reliase that her son need 2 learn abit more indepence =p.

So i signed up with the Prez, actually ET would have attended to, but due to some family last arrangement, he cant come. But its also because he is not around that i can enjoy the trip better. Sorry for putting it this way but i guess if he came along, i would be onli sticking with him, kk and ET instead of having the chance of mixing around with more people.

Day 1:
_______

I woke up super early, coz im afrid of being late plus unable to sleep due 2 excitement, im always like that before a major event. When i reach school i meet up with some of the group of people in the club house, assign what im suppose to bring and take care during the trip(Its the C8 Stand at first, but due to the fact that i really cant stand seeing how joe struggle to take care of the C8, i offer a change. Not saying joe your not strong, but i feel that i should be the one taking it rather than you.)

Im hungry so i went over to take away some food while sitting infront of the LT 73 eating, Xing Zhi cant stand the smell of the omelete im eating as well, Im just hungry i guess. After the people have open the door, we moved in with the rest of the bags as well. I make my way out again to buy newspaper and also some drinks. While reading the papers samuel and Joe came over, plus dennis and we started to have some casual chat, plus reading off some topics on the paper. Then KK finally came and the last person was david as his phone was down plus he did not attend the Briefing plus no one informed him about the change of time.

We were then introduced to our tour guide, Hazel. She is in her twenties, you can see how she look like later in the following photos im going to show case.
We were told that we would be changing our bus after the custom, a tag was issue to us for the luggage we are going to bring so that we do not lost it, and its easier to find it back(thats by luck). Filled in a white card and Mr kk here wasted 2 cards.... waste paper...

Too bad no one took the first bus we took, the onli comment i can give for that bus was.... super Pink on the exterior and its a NEW Couch.... its like as if its not used before. We took the bus to the First custom, i sat down with YB, Samuel behind me with Vivian, Joe and KK sat alone, David and Dennis sat infront of me. Behind KK is Ivy and Yun Ru, The whole back row is filled with Jing hui and Jing Kun, Sockping and Elson.

When we reach the Singapore Custom, Robin was actually stopped infront by the guard due to taking photos which consist of the immigration check point as its back ground, we were all reprimented by Thomas Tan (SDAR Advisor plus Lecturer incharge of us during this trip, you will easily notice him later on in the day 3 XD) on the bus and also those which waste time going to the toilet when they are suppose to go for the toilet trip in school before we set off.

I hate 1 part of the trip is that my sis refuse to lend me her Zen, i could use it to much use listening to "Tori no Ulta" or "Aozora" as lullby instead of ended up sleeping for the rest of the journey after my eyes were tired of looking for anything interesting to look at during the trip towards mersing.....

We were introduced to Mdm Azno, the local mersing tour guide. With out driver Mr Azmi. We were brought to a small resturant for lunch, thats where we found the link for ourself on that table of 3 Females(Hazel, Ivy and Yun Ru) and with 9 guys (ME, KK, YB, Dennis, David, Joe, elson, Sheng Xuang and Samuel). Im spiked with Joe keep repeating about Prawns and its joke. So i came up with a few more examples. Such as:
Hebihiam - Small, young Prawn
Overseas Prawn
Old, Burned Prawn

I guess some people understand what im talking about, and the worse thing was delivered by David, no one expect him to come up with this.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One day a teacher asked in class, Which part of the human body goes up into heaven
first?

A student replied the legs, upon requesting for the reason, the boy goes
"I was going to the loo 1 night when i pass by my parents bed room, as the door is not closed properly and theres noise, i took a peek and saw my dad pinned down my mum, with her legs rising in the sky shouting" Oh God im Coming"."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hows that now?
The girls obvious do not know our joke and all 9 of us laugh till we nearly kill ourself on the lunch table.

Back on the trip, we first visited a Keropok Factory (Fish cracker, those which you see in the provisional shops). We were not quite used to the look of it.

The place is like a shables(sorry for being quite rude, but its the best explaination i can give), flies and Bees were flying around, maybe Wasp, i cant tell the diff of the Wasp and the Bee. So we saw how they make the Keropok, by steaming them and airing them to dry, we were showed around the shop where i bought some salted fish, and a local Seasons Red Bean Soy Milk. Nice...

We had a group photo taken, the Prawn Gang! LOL

When we reach the hotel, we were assign rooms according to Our President Evelyn.
Im assigned a room with KK and SX(Sheng Xuang For short). With Dennis, David and Joe as neighbour, Further down is Ivy, Yun Ru and Vivian while inbetween is Jing Kun, Jing Hui and Elson. After leaving down our stuff i was tired, i took off my top onli walking around with a singlet on, i walked around, looking for a cool spot and sat there talking with my room mates. Its not a bad place, thought still having the haze as a big irritating problem, we manage to get a good view of the surrounding.

The whole group went down for some shopping at the Local area. Me, KK, Joe, David and Dennis pratically went off first, we are a bunch of impatient people if i were to say. We walked around, peeked into all the corners, along with getting David a new pair of slippers which he is still using till now. We spotted Lan Cafes, Provisional Shops, Small garages, Kopitiams and some other small book stalls, fashion appeal shops. Until a rain starts pouring in, we were actually still interested in moving on. But the rain cause us to back track. Of course, we are all soaked till our undies. lol

Meet up with the group of the remaining people. They had a worser luck as just as they finish buying up some stuff at the Giant, the rain is already at its peak. The 5 of us then start making our purchases. I bought tea, thinking that since we can make boiling water, why not buy some tea? A small pack of choc snak and a big bottle of drinking water. We then make our way back to the Hotel.

On our way back we had Ivy joining us, lol! Well not that she dun know us, She knows me, David, Dennis, Joe and YB from the year mid AF CAMP. So we were talking all the way from the shops back to our hotel room. Back there i was bored, 6 guys but onli 3 know how 2 play tai di, so i went to find Ivy's room and ended up playing like crazy, after Tai di, we had indian poker and murderer. Which we all condemed the killer like crazy for having lousy weapon at hand.

Dinner was nice, we were expecting some Malaysian food, but what we were served were things like Fish, Fried Vege and soup.Quite Chinese Spread if i were to said. After that was group photo at the Lobby. Btw the hotel is Seri Malaysia, not a bad hotel as its facilities were quite equiped. I was making a fool of myself wearing YB's cap. I know i look stupid but who cares any way? We were here to Enjoy.

We had some games outside the Lobby, trying to know each other well. The first thing i was shock is when people were surprised to know i had onli "Melvin" as my only name. I was like.... Come on, some of you know me for atlease 1 and a half year??? LOLs.... Played even more lame games, "BLOW WIND BLOW". I was lucky but not Gerald, he had 2 continued Forfit, first is with KK!!!! HAHA!!!! His suppose to treat kk as a chio bu at a Club and try to get "her" number! But kk is reluctant to give in, what an attitude "Women" lol. Then with Clement they had a short dance.

What is wasted the most is that Ob was not possible as the sky was bad. So we had to retreat back to our rooms. Thats when i went back to join the playing. Dinnie and YB was there already, so ended up me and YB tried to explain the "Oh God im Coming" Joke to the Girls. YB started with the Karma Sultra in explaining the Position, I explained the Orgasim part. Until the end when YR (Yun Ru For short) used her jacket and whacked me like crazy saying i polluted her mind and she is gonna complain to her mother! I was like OMFG!!!! Then Joe was acting as if its a trauma to him. I had a talk back in my room with him before returning, his just ACTING... A few know why, so lets not spoil the thing.

As the nights continue, we ended up in a usual serious Talking Cock session, from teaching YR what it takes to be a nurse, to facts about life, The BAGUA, How life came about, Astronomy and then the thing about the Solar Storm in 2011 which is another ELE. We then had a choice of going back to our rooms first to get a change, but me n kk felt its quite tiring and the other thing is that.

WHY DO YOU WASTE A NIGHT IN A HOTEL WITHOUT SLEEPING!!!!! SO!!!!
I just want to sleep in a nice bed after being sleeping on the floor for so many years already lol....

Day 1 Ends
_____________________________________________________________________________________

What i felt in day 1 is that
1: I got to know more people, even those yr1s i have known in AF, i dint borther to know them better till that trip. They are really a bunch of nice Guys.
2: Get in contact with the nature, plus getting use to butt cramp when u sit long enf on a couch.
3: Sleep when theres a chance, including the BUS trip.
4: Every one is out on fun, so lets all ENJOY!

Day 1Photos
___________

Me and YB

The D&D's

KK

YR (Cant find any pic with Ivy)

Joe

David

Keropok!

The Tour at the Factory

Prawn Group Photo

All the Luggage just for my room!

High Tea any one?

3 guys with a deck of cards = No fun

Seri Malaysia

Group Photo

Prawn fraction again!

Dinner

The Night Gathering

Hi YB! Your on Camera!!!!

Videos of Sleeping Peeps

Day 2
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Waking up in the morning with kk shuffing my hp towards me, he dunno how to turn off my Phone Alarm, so i switched it off, and continue sleeping while he make his way for a shower. I woke up afew minutes later and get cleaned up, looked up those guys in the room last night and to my surprise, david stayed up whole night as his afrid that he will kill people with his snore.

We had Breakfast, i dint quite like what was offer so i munched on the toast they had, with coffee and undissolvble Creamer. After that its the Morning tea session, we had some tea and coffee at my room with KK, SX and Joe. The photos shows it all. Lol. Packing up and moving equipment to the lobby, we started making our move for the jetty.

Its a tiring and hot journey there, not to mention the C8 is a killer with the box together. I carried an extra luggage bag as my clothes are 2 big and i have not a very big back pack, so i ended up struggle quite hard as well. On the way was talking with Samuel and Joe, Thx to some of u guys for trying to lessen my load, but its ok. I need to carry out my own responsibility.

At the jetty i was asked to play what i always said "Lame GAMES". Its not stupid, but its an insult to the intellginece if u play it too often. It merely revolves a pattern, people just have to find the similarities and thats it, game solved. I prefer to have my game book which i bought it like in primary 5. Its more fun then this i belive. But when theres a large group it will be more fun participating thought. We had things like Bang Bang Bang, and some others which i cant remember. When we board the Ferry, the first thing i wanted to do is to sit upstairs at the open air area. Unless i feel sleepy, if not i wont want to be downstairs as i wanted to enjoy the sea breeze. Joe was with me, and i kept saying, that we really had very rare chances out here, not to mention not without our parents. We need more of such experience before we were finally killed by our beloved the computer. Facing the 4 walls everyday and also the refreshing screen which we cant see will not be the end of everyone. Thats what i belive and later on i moved on the the opp side.

Dinnie was there lazying around, and i had to become his cusion later on for ard half an hour plus. Until we reach Tioman when i keep walking around to look at the clearity of the water and all those sorts. I really like the secenery. And, It does not look that nice when i look throught it again from the computer screen.

Upon unloading, Yr found out that she forget her bag with her. The boat left but our accomendator, helpped us called the ferry and note it to drop the luggage later when they came back. While another man help us move our luggages to the place we will be staying by a speed boat. The island looked splendid, its small, refreshing and espically nice to people like me, a City dweller which has not stepped foot further than Johor for the past 4 years.

When we reach the Chalet Genting Bayu, we were assign rooms again with the same people. My room was worse..... Ants infestion, Spoilt Tolilet Bowl flush, spoilt Heater..... Me and SX have to waste our pickly heat powder in pouring it on the floor for the ants to stay away. We soon change and went over to find the rest of the people before setting off for the Trekking towards the other end of the island. The photos contain quite alot of Flora and Fauna cause Joe, as a horitcultural student is ofcourse more interested in them then some of the stuff around. lol

The trek was a killer for me, who dint moved my whole body muscles and Fats for so long, its challenging and nice. I had the chance to keep up with the people and following in the front. The trip up there on the trek was nice. With nice seceneary, light wind blowing throught ur face to remove partial of the Fatigue and Heat, i feel like i can keep on going on moving.

We had a trip to the Rapid, thought its small but i cant think much else about it, the water is cool, and refreshing when i dip my towel into it for a face washing session. While some guys jumped inside and play around. I wasnt sure about that thought. We soon make our way back but before that, we checked out the Duty free shop at Payang. I bought 2 100 Plus to relieve some fatigue and restore salt. Its going to be the same way back so i was actually quite interested in taking the long steep flights of stairs the otherway down. But then disaster strikes.

While the Trekking guide went Wrecking the path which is near the sea. We followed along (Mainly me, KK, Joe, Dennis, David With YB) Which i had a cut on my hand, David on the knee and hand plus a deep one for Dennis. KK had a fall and wet nearly his HP. We had to return by a speed boat due to the injuries. I feel bad, i wanted to trek backwards as well....

We had reached the chalet when we saw Robin and a small group with him as well, they took a boat as well coz they bought things that cant be brought back by walking back.
We were then dismissed and took a shower plus change into fresh clothes later on. Meeting for dinner at the same place we had lunch for the same day.

The food there i would say, is even more chinese like. Its got Vegie in thick sauce, stir fried meat, and some fried stuff. I cant really remember what i ate. But Samuel had a problem as his a Full vegiterian, meaning he have to abstaine not just meat, but also spices like garlic, onion and Ginger. We had a small ob later on which failed to find anything. Before that i was trying my best to open the C8 box while Yb help me finish opening it, im still sucky at picking locks i guess =X! Gathering at the girls room again but the guys are tired, so we went back to Joe's room 2 had a sleep as our room was unfit to be sleep in LOL.

Then YB, Ivy and YR came to join us, we talked abit of BGR stuff and then i fall asleep, according to them i slept like a log, they were sleeping on the same bed as me but i was sleeping at the edge of the bed, thet were all so afrid that ill fall down. But the thing is, when i sleep, i hardly move an inch, not to mention falling down from the bed. David joined me later on when i came out of the toilet, he complained that YB is 2 fat and he cant sleep with him on a single bed(Btw, im sleeping on a double bed). Dennis slept early and Joe slept with kk! lol!

Day 2 Ends
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What i felt bout in Day 2 is that, People are closer now, not just us guys, but the 2 girls as it seems that we all started out in a group. lol. But then the accidents and then more of the games. I only know that im rather tired already, so i have no choice but to go sleep. The girls complain that they were cold and went back, but thats because they hog the pillow thats why i have to use the blanket as the pillow.lol.

Day 2 Photos
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Jing Kun

Hazel

Morning Tea Session

Elson and Dinnie

ME!!!

Couple Photos!!!! =X!!!!

Tioman water & Chalet Room (Joe)

Mr Thomas Tan

David Again! lol

Thief(failure) at work

Day 3
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Woked up in the morning nearly freezed to death, Luckly David did not took the whole blanket, lol. We maked our way for breakfast, and soon to receive the Snorkling Gears. We had to get the correct size life jacket, and googles which i haven used before. On the way KK had a brief Talk with TT(Thomas Tan) about Sailing, it seems that from what kk told me, his an experienced sailer for being able to sail a 2 Sail Sail boat.

We arrived at the jetty, took 2 different Speed Boats to the Snorkling area. The first trip took us quite long. we were wasting time on the boat talking about lame stuff and taking tons of photos. While later on during the Snorkling trip i yet again, reworked the tons of muscles and Fats which i haven moved for quite long.

I had a bad experience on the Boat, The shelter was quite low and i banged my head on the boats for atlease 7 times. I know 7 is lucky, but not 7 Times when you banged your head...

Tasting salt water again is yucky, i did not get used to the Googles that fast as i have to use my mouth to do the air exchange instead of my nose, i had sucked up the whole googles up for atlease 10+ times before i get used to it. We had a look of the surrounding of the sea, a big school of fishes keep swimming around us, later on we were brought to a beach to have lunch, but becoz YR and Ivy were having Sea Sick, we had to attend to her. While moving both of them to the open space on the back of the boat, YR had a fall and was caught by wilson, thankfully the other boat was anchored there, if not she will have the risk of falling into the sea. While we guys had lunch on the boat, me, SX and David went down for a short snorkle around to see the corals.

The rest of the crew cames back while the morninter Lizards strikes the beach for food. Lol, we cant really see it that close as the boat were anchored quite away from shore. Thats the best photo we can ever get. The next place is the Marine park, althought the rest went down first, me, KK, YB, Joe, Ivy, YR, Joel and Hui min went in to have a look, including the map of the area of Tioman Island. Then me n KK went down to join the rest. The area is much more smaller, and we had a good look at Sea urchins. Small, scary and spiky is all i can say. We split into 2 groups later. Either Duty free shop shopping or else Continue at the third snorkling spot. As my purpose is not shopping, i went with the bunch of non shoppers and No wallet people to snorkle at the last spot.

The last spot is splendit, its got more corals in vibrant colours and much more clusters which we can see. Theres even Sea cucumbers which i never and will never eat them coz they look digusting..... Thats when Elson got a cut on his feet by corals, and when the medic Yb went to look at Elson's leg, His nose got cut as well and started bleeding. We had a great laugh as "YB goes High when he sees people with Bleeding feet". So remeber, never find him for feet related injuries incase he goes high....

Well, the snorkling trip is the best, and i gotten new experiences bout things like this. The return trip i suffer the aftermath, including the Fatigue i felt on my arms and also the tireness. I had a sleep on the way back. Too tired already. Plus later on during dinner people are not feeling well, im tired, joe is as well coz he keep showing his BSOD or, JSOD (Joe's Screen of Doom). YR wasnt feeling well, Ivy as well. So later on when we had the gathering we were all playing lame games all the way. First from Bang Bang, Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny Johnny, Meh Meh, Black/White Magic, Bottle Magic. All those lame games were all broken on that night, so if ur going to play lame games bring it on!

Then we had splitted in to 2 beds, 1 bed with Ivy, David, YB and Samuel. Mine had Dennis, YR, Dinnie and Me. We chatted alot of stuff. then when Vivian joined in and all were really sleepy, i offer to sleep on the floor, not just theres more space, but rather i dun feel like hindering people due to my body size.

Day 3 end
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What i really feel for day 3, Ending day? Feeling sad but still happy, that i know new friends now. Had tons of fun and also, Experiencing the Sea. Something i never thought i would ever do.(Ps: Ramli Burger Taste better in Malaysia, espically after a tiring snorkling trip!)

Day 3 Photos
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IVY!!!

Sleeping Photos!!!

The 4 Ladies!

Night Chatting!

Day 4
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Yes, the last day of the trip. We had all the fun, and all the exhausting times, accidents. So on the way back we hardly did anything except shopping at a store at mersing. Bought some stuff my mom asked me to buy, and also at the same time i start to sort out what i am going to start doing back at Sg. The returning trip was quiter, as most people were all sleeping. I dint had the time to collect the sleepers photos, if not ill make sure they see a gallery here. Ill be adding some Vids too of what i have collected. All in all, This Trip was Great and Thanks to Every one. I really Enjoyed it. May we all had another trip as fun as this again!

Day 4 Photos
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